Aging 101

A great article:

Just because I am 90...

I love it ... as a 60 year old woman every day I must remind myself I have 40 years left to live. It is my intention to live to be 100 years old and do it with health and vitality. It saddens me watching people shrink into despair and treat their bodies like a trash bin. It saddens me when people are spiritually stunted simply because religion has turned them off or because they are choosing not to continue learning, growing and exploring.
This woman inspires me as does the 82 year old man I met the other day out walking, exercising his ankle so he can get back to running! Start with the grief in life and grow from there and anyone can be the best they can be leading long, happy and healthy lives.I went to university when I was 57 to take a BA Hons and completed it in 3 years, I went on to complete a masters degree before I was 55 and am heading to U of T (Emmanuel College) in September 2020 to take a second masters in spiritual care and psychotherapy. I hunger to learn.
I hold three fitness certificates through CanFitPro: Group fitness leader, personal trainer, and healthy eating and weight loss coach. I run as much as I am motivated to run when not focused on a goal. Goals force me to be structured. I have two races left this summer that I am hoping will not be cancelled. One is an Olympic in September (An olympic is 2 km run, 40 km bike, 10 km run.
I eat very well choosing creation cooking over boxes, tins and jars. I love ice cream with maple syrup and must check myself not to eat more than I should and yet sometimes do. I care for my spirit and live a life of curiosity as opposed to anger and blame. These did not come easy it took some mirror gazing.This is the work I do when I work with others. Helping them work through the grief in life to find the sunshine. I have found the sunshine even on days like today when I love the rain. I do it without expectation. I simply do it to make the world a better place.
In this article I quote her, "What I’ve seen so far is that the crisis has brought out the best in good people and the worst in bad people. What I see now is that cooperation and empathy on a massive scale are needed to bring the world back on track."Are you back on track? If you are not I can help! I can listen and give you tools and suggestions.

Just because I am 90 ...

The masks we wear ...

You can't give what you don't have ...

In this light of this isolation and social distancing I have had much time to reflect and be with myself.  I live alone so, while many of you are climbing the walls while children drive you crazy or a spouse or partner is getting on your last nerve those of us who live alone find there are quiet rooms and little conversation.  It is lovely, I must admit, because with the wonderful technology today I can video chat or reach out whenever I want.  I can then enjoy the quiet of my space the rest of the time.

You can't give what you don't have .... that is a simple statement and I love it.  According to holy scripture (from the Christian tradition) there is a story asking if a friend comes to your door at midnight and asks for bread would you get up and give it or would you say "leave me alone"?  (Luke 11) Bread is a symbol, in scripture, of food for the journey.  Stories about manna from heaven, loaves and fishes and other ways of the writers to talk about getting the food we need to continue our life's journey.  Bread is basic and it is often a staple of one's diet, the very basis on which we may make our way.

So a friend comes and asks for bread, help or assistance .... do you give it?  or do you give advice and direction?  Giving of the bread and allowing them to slice it as they choose, eat it when they like or give it away to another are some options and yet, when we give it we often want to slice it, and prepare it and direct it and watch it be used in the life of the other.  hmmmmm

Why is it so important that we see the fruits of our labours .... ?  Can we simply not give unconditionally our time or our words and let them be what they are and do their own job?  Is your concern or your bread giving conditional on it rising to be what you set out to make it?  What is the intention of your words?  How do the words flow from you?  You cannot give what you do not have.

These are blood oranges.  Squeeze a blood orange and you get rich beautiful dark orange juice because it is all the blood orange has to give.  Should you squeeze a tomato you get tomato guts ... you do not get ketchup!  Ketchup is processed, altered and changed.  It has in it what the manufacturer wants you to taste.  Ketchup is created for a purpose so grab the ketchup bottle and you get tomato mixed with other ingredients, do not expect tomato guts.

You may be wondering what the theme of all this is.  You cannot give what you do not have.  If you are squeezed what comes out .... when times are tough, when you are grieving: angry, depressed, bargaining, denying .... what comes out of you?  Or does anything come out ..?  Is your skin so thick that squeezed you simply cave in and there is nothing to share.

During this time most recent and in the days that lead up I have been working on my own internal make up.  Who am I? What are my thoughts that run my life? When I am squeezed what comes out? and I have learned so much about who I am, my thoughts and my internal make up.  You can too!  It starts with simply coming to my door, asking for a loaf of bread, sharing your story and then taking away some tools to work with.  I have no attachment to your outcome, that is for you to work out.  I can listen, help you empty your cup so you can begin again filling it with love and acceptance and self-assurance.

I am relearning my connection to divine source.  I am choosing to look once again at the tether in my own storm and awaken the butterfly that is waiting in the cocoon.  I feel beautiful, graceful and helpful.  I know I am okay and I am enough.

Do you?

Are you?

Can I help? 

Stages of Grief. Walk them freely!

#breakingstibah

in the Vortex....

What is a vortex?  A vortex is defined as a mass of whirling fluid or air, especially a whirlpool or whirlwind.  It is often seen as destructive or something to be feared.  That said, what if you were to put all your desires and passions into the vortex and let them strengthen and meld together and then touch down in your life?  What if you were to trust there is a vortex of divine love just waiting to take you places that you can only imagine at this point because they are in your dreams?  What if I was to tell you these dreams are simply a thought away? 

For the past 40 years I have been dreaming about what I desire and then thinking my way into my own self destruction ... then in January of 2018 I woke up, I dried out, I set aside that which was most in my way.  Alcohol and my own thoughts.  How many times have you been doing something and when all was said and done, you looked at it and said, "ah man, I knew that was going to happen!" and it was not what you wanted to happen, but it was what you "knew" would happen?  This is what I am talking about.  The deep belief of our thoughts that dictate the path of our lives.

I am so excited about the third trimester of my life I can barely live with myself.  I have finally unleashed the passion that has been in my heart and I am living a place of deep knowing.  This knowing is the divine source of my spirit and soul that pines and wants only joy and happiness for me.  I have arrived at the place where my spirit and soul are now in the driver's seat and the EGO is a healthy dose of direction and guidance instead of a dictating, challenging and harmful noise.

How did I get here?  With perseverance and choices and, most of all, an open and non-judgmental thinking and being existence.  It is so easy it is unbelievable however it is so easy that it feels like it is too good to be true, and to most people it will be.  Not because they cannot be here too but because they do believe it is too good to be true and often, with these people, the first words out of their mouth is, "oh, I can't ..." and as Henry Ford said, "if you think you can or you think you can't, you are right".

So here I am, on top of the world ready to launch into 30 more years of my life, happy, healthy, passionate and proud.  Come with me, won't you?   Talk to me, ask me how I did it!  Let me share my learnings and help you get where you want to be.

This past week I was in first aid training and met an amazing young man.  He is so observant and he is on a path to finding this deep passion.  He is so far ahead of where I was in my 20's and I am envious only because I love where I am so much I wish I had learned it earlier, but I didn't.  So now I can make the best of the next 30 years and let go of the past.

The divine love I am witnessing is big enough for all.  There is room for all and through proper channels and hard work you can be here too.  I want to help.  No fees, no strings, no programs (unless you want one) just conversation and community.  Come join me #breakingstibah .... be the best you can be.

Look into your crystal ball and tell your own future, write it on the wall!

Journey to Ireland

As I work through the planning of the trip to Ireland this September there is much more to it than the flight, accommodation and meal planning.  For me it is a journey a long time coming.  It started in the 1700's where the ancestors are rooted.  Not just for Irish lands, for history and past lives lived, and a place that bears roots to my own existence.

As I work through my life planning the third trimester this trip to Ireland is the pivot point of the next thirty years ... it seems I have come to the place where I am now ready and spiritually able to do what I came to do.  Fulfill what I believe is my "bus stop" conversation.  Spend time observing and perfecting the "soul contract" or soul's purpose that I have uncovered.  Bring to fruition that which is deep in my heart.

I recently listened to a podcast talking about having a job verses what is your life's work.  As per usual it arrived in my life just when I was ready to hear the message.  It was a message, a message for me to say, "good work, faithful servant, you have arrived!" from the one song, "uni-verse" that I listen to so intently these days.  In the past few months I have been learning a new "job".  A job that has taken me on a new path to my own learning.  This job is now teaching me about my "work".  I have come to see my work is being with people.  Growing that which is awareness around the energy that feeds us to live a full human existence and to life to the fullest potential our own "bus stop" story.

The "bus stop" experience story or the finding of your "soul's purpose" is a deep understanding of who you are spiritually.  What does your spirit look like?  What is your purpose?  How can you find yourself? Why would you want to do so?  All deep questions that I have pondered over the past20 years and beyond.  As a little girl I always talked out loud to myself, answering the questions that seemed to be present in my mind.  Thinking in duality.  I am sure if I had shared this I would have been wrapped up and sent to the hospital as being unwell.  This craft of talking with myself has come full circle.  It is part of why I wish to return my soul/spirit to Ireland to stand on the ground where Robert and Eliza began.  I realize there is more beyond Robert Breadner, splat here (born) January 26, 1796 and he was a child of the evolutional self that is now me, and so I know it is just two points on the continuum of lives lived.  It feels right and full and real for me to begin my next thirty years there in Ireland, in the County of Armagh.  This means of being connected to the self from the time I was quite small is the remnants of my childhood angelic state that most of us forget.  Today I am my own best friend, my own greatest fan, lover, companion and truly my own source of greatest peace.

My work is to take the first 60 years of my life's lessons and share the wisdom with others as I walk with them along their way.  Give them tools and experience as their teachers so they too can find their own way to fulfillment.  My job takes me to the intersection where that can happen and my "jobs" always have done that.  I have had many jobs because the jobs are the feint, or the deception, of the heart to take me along the road.

What is your life's work?  Are you simply a pawn in the game of life?  These questions now have meaning for me where I have found clarity and see more clearly.  Such a gift.  The next thirty years for me will be living out this work I am being called to listen to; that which is the soul contract my spirit signed up for.  Can you face and find your call?  Come and walk with me, let me guide you and be your beacon, stepping ahead and keeping you on track ...

New Adventures

The work I am engaged with for myself continues to lead me down paths of desire and hope where I am able to engage with others.  Yesterday I attended the inaugural council meeting of the faith community I have been engaged with for over five years.  I have been searching and seeking to be one of them.  The last time I engaged in process it did not go so well. 

#breakingstibah is key to my survival.  As I seek to break my own poor habits, choices and engagements with that which does not serve me I will continue to feel abandoned and losing hope.  Yesterday I was given hope.  Hope came in the hugs of welcome from those I had not seen in a very long time.  Hope came in the encouragement that I received to continue the quest.  Hope comes in the form of a blog post landing in my vision today reminding me about the green man and my love of planet.  Hope comes as I refuse to give up on what my soul and spirit are hungry for, to build community and find a place for the weary to rest in a world that continues to explode with technology and pressure to perform.

I have begun painting and writing again and choosing to step back from that which does not serve me.  I continue to run and cycle feeding my physical self with the exercise I need to stay strong and healthy.  I continue to eat right (well, mostly with the exception of my love of frozen yogurt) and nourish my cells and biology.  Most of all I continue to nourish my soul with reading and steeping myself in those who I trust in wisdom.

I collected all my flower photos last night into a virtual file and am going to create a book of them for myself.  I hold dear the quest of the bloom to continue to come back each year after a cold dark winter.  I relish in the beauty and colour of flowers bursting forth into existence and Mother Nature's way of colouring up the landscape.  Spring is here and summer slumber is upon us.  So continues my journey to love, lead and share time with anyone wanting to join me.

As a journey companion I walk in faith with anyone wanting to walk with me.  Come along... take a step and find your heart once again.

Is it magic?

In my philosophies and beliefs is a true understanding that when we choose to see there is a world that opens up to us, available to everyone, however we must choose to believe and see.  It is a magical place of energies and messages from those spirits who travel with us.  Spirits from our time on earth that have left this earthly realm and many others who are sent to us by the Uni-Verse (One-Song) to walk with us on our journey and make life beautiful.  As we mar our basic five earthly senses with poor diet choices, attitude and vices (eg alcohol, prescription drugs and street drugs) we place scales on our eyes and flaps over our ears.  Our senses are restricted to a dull roar of a world marred in challenge and crap. 

I choose to engage with all the energy I can going far beyond and afar. 

Last night I did not sleep as soundly as I might have.  I had written a submission for a book before going to bed so my soul was out and about revisiting all the past doings I have experienced.  I was restless and slumbering just below the surface and just above the REM sleep necessary for rest.  I awoke at 8:50 am which is late for me.  As I sat up, after stretching and thanking my body, I was putting my socks on from the side of my bed.  I did not have my glasses on and so when I saw the gold shiny object on the carpet about four feet in front of me, I was so thankful as I realized it was one of my precious earrings that I wear.  I immediately reached to touch my lobes and all four earrings were present and accounted for.   I put on my glasses and finished putting on my socks moving about looking directly at the shiny gold object and put on my house shoes.  With my glasses on I could see it even more clearly and it still resembled the gold hoop earring I wear only with small tines that looked crown like.  It was then that I rose and reached for it as I did it disappeared for a split second and I lost track of it.  I returned to the bed to see it again and there it was so I focused on the spot and reached again.  When I touched the carpet where it was sitting it was not there.

When I returned to the spot on the bed where I had saw it, it was gone.  I could no longer see it.  Where did it go?  Puzzling I sat quietly on the bed asking the question, where did it go?

The answer came very clearly to me and without hesitation.   In Irish song and voice I heard,

"Here is your pot of gold and your wealth you have been looking for.  You are valuable and rich beyond your wildest dreams and all you choose to accomplish will come to you.  Worry not about the finances of anything as you will find as you travel exactly the gold you need to make your journey work.  Worry not about anything ... simply live and trust and all will be well."

I have a sense of peace about me this morning... It is all well in my world and I am as rich as I need to be in order go forth and do what it is I am called to do.  I have the riches inside of me because as I sat there the voice concluded with,

"You reached the pot of gold and absorbed it into your being... it is not tangible in the material world it is a wealth of the heart and you now reached for it, trusted and accepted.  Go my daughter of Irish roots ... believe in the green."

Thanks be to Celtic wisdom and love .... Thanks be to God!

Good Grief! What is it? How can grief be good?

It can be good.  Grieving is one of life's challenges that can be embraced because through grief we grow.  Life is hard.  Losses are part of it.  Every person has losses of one kind or another.

Right now I am grieving the death of a friend.  I am so sad.  She was 79 years old, full of life, until she wasn't because her heart simply stopped.  No one could do anything.  She called 911 herself, I am told.  Walked out to the ambulance I am told, and then she went to the hospital, and died.  I am so sad.  So how can grief be good?

I am not saying grief "feels" good, I am saying grief can be good.  It is a symbol of love, of passion and of life's engagement.  Should you never witness grief then I dare to say you are not living.  Grief is a symbol of loss in life.  The challenge is how you handle it, how you cope, and what tools you have to work through it.  That is where I can help.

My passion for grief has been long standing.  I presided as witness and clergy to family funerals.  I delivered the eulogy at my father's funeral in 2005.  I then was given the gift of doing it again at our mother's funeral and I presided and facilitated the funeral of my brother who died, at 56, in 2011.  It was through these moments I realized I have a gift for understanding and grieving death for many.  I have the tools and I have love so great my arms can wrap around the world.

Death is part of living.  Benjamin Franklin said there were only two things certain in life:  death and taxes.  Many have gone further to say, 'too bad they don't come in that order'.  When we befriend death and welcome it into our lives before we must deal with it, dealing with it is so much easier.  Grieving allows us to look death in the eye and say, "you will not defeat me."  In the Christian faith, the death of Jesus is the climax of his life, only to be the beginning of his work in his death.  Through the resurrection story we can claim rebirth and life after death in so many ways. 

This is the challenge I am choosing to take on.  Teaching and coaching people to have a better relationship with dying.  Not only physical human death, that is one form, but also death of a job, death of a relationship, death of a home, and so on, and so on.   Ask questions and I will answer. Come to the corner of hope and cope and I will be there to walk with you!