You can't give what you don't have ...

In this light of this isolation and social distancing I have had much time to reflect and be with myself.  I live alone so, while many of you are climbing the walls while children drive you crazy or a spouse or partner is getting on your last nerve those of us who live alone find there are quiet rooms and little conversation.  It is lovely, I must admit, because with the wonderful technology today I can video chat or reach out whenever I want.  I can then enjoy the quiet of my space the rest of the time.

You can't give what you don't have .... that is a simple statement and I love it.  According to holy scripture (from the Christian tradition) there is a story asking if a friend comes to your door at midnight and asks for bread would you get up and give it or would you say "leave me alone"?  (Luke 11) Bread is a symbol, in scripture, of food for the journey.  Stories about manna from heaven, loaves and fishes and other ways of the writers to talk about getting the food we need to continue our life's journey.  Bread is basic and it is often a staple of one's diet, the very basis on which we may make our way.

So a friend comes and asks for bread, help or assistance .... do you give it?  or do you give advice and direction?  Giving of the bread and allowing them to slice it as they choose, eat it when they like or give it away to another are some options and yet, when we give it we often want to slice it, and prepare it and direct it and watch it be used in the life of the other.  hmmmmm

Why is it so important that we see the fruits of our labours .... ?  Can we simply not give unconditionally our time or our words and let them be what they are and do their own job?  Is your concern or your bread giving conditional on it rising to be what you set out to make it?  What is the intention of your words?  How do the words flow from you?  You cannot give what you do not have.

These are blood oranges.  Squeeze a blood orange and you get rich beautiful dark orange juice because it is all the blood orange has to give.  Should you squeeze a tomato you get tomato guts ... you do not get ketchup!  Ketchup is processed, altered and changed.  It has in it what the manufacturer wants you to taste.  Ketchup is created for a purpose so grab the ketchup bottle and you get tomato mixed with other ingredients, do not expect tomato guts.

You may be wondering what the theme of all this is.  You cannot give what you do not have.  If you are squeezed what comes out .... when times are tough, when you are grieving: angry, depressed, bargaining, denying .... what comes out of you?  Or does anything come out ..?  Is your skin so thick that squeezed you simply cave in and there is nothing to share.

During this time most recent and in the days that lead up I have been working on my own internal make up.  Who am I? What are my thoughts that run my life? When I am squeezed what comes out? and I have learned so much about who I am, my thoughts and my internal make up.  You can too!  It starts with simply coming to my door, asking for a loaf of bread, sharing your story and then taking away some tools to work with.  I have no attachment to your outcome, that is for you to work out.  I can listen, help you empty your cup so you can begin again filling it with love and acceptance and self-assurance.

I am relearning my connection to divine source.  I am choosing to look once again at the tether in my own storm and awaken the butterfly that is waiting in the cocoon.  I feel beautiful, graceful and helpful.  I know I am okay and I am enough.

Do you?

Are you?

Can I help? 

Stages of Grief. Walk them freely!

#breakingstibah