Bear Aware

Being an urban Ontario girl the thoughts of encountering a bear is a bit unsettling.  I  brought with me a gift from one of the kind people on Ontario. It was a gift of "bear bells". This is a little Velcro strap that wraps around my wrist and on it is a large jingle bell which makes a lovely noise when I walk.  These bear bells are supposed to alert animals to your presence so hopefully they will scurry off their own direction!  It is funny though as I share this with the good native people of the Bella Coola Valley, including the local RCMP officer, they all chuckle.  Upon the puzzled look on my face, they proceed to rename the bells, "dinner bells".  Instead of the bear staying away, the locals tell me the bear says grace and realizes dinner is coming up the path!  Good-natured, I know they are teasing me and it makes me feel at home.

As I did walk with my bells though, it was with some thoughts about how they warn everything within hearing distance of my presence. "I am here" these bells say on my behalf.  It set me to ponder how does the Divine, the Sacred, or commonly named, God, let me know when present?  What signs can I look for?  Does this beautiful presence have bells attached?  For some, I think they need an atom bomb because no matter what happens in their life they cannot see it is the presence of something special.  For some, I think they need an avalanche or a snow storm to wake them up to the whisperings of the Spirit.  For others, they fundamentally believe God is present but beyond reach only to punish us, answer hot-line prayer requests, or to move us around like chess pieces on this earthly surface.  The bells serve to remind them to behave not to the beauty.  So sad.

For me, these bells remind me I am alive!  Able to walk along a beautiful pathway looking and watching out for bears.  Here in the Bella Coola Valley, I literally have to watch out for the four legged kind with little brown eyes, fur and long fingernails, badly in need of a mani or pedi, in your world what kind of bears do you need to be aware of?  All bears can be respected and loved from a distance.  We need to better understand them and know they are wild and not to be fed or encouraged.  These bears have their own environment they live in and, while growling at times, we can live with them in the same forest.  We need not tame them, just understand them better and face what it is we need to face to be healthy, strong and live in a balanced world with our bears.

I love it here with the bears and with all the challenges perceived.  One favorite question is "How are you coping with the isolation?"  It is not isolated here.  There are bears everywhere and I have been just as isolated in downtown Toronto as I could feel here.  But I choose not to be isolated. I choose to engage and find the bears and bunnies in a community that is welcoming and loving.   I walk with my bells saying "here I am, Lord, use me to be your love"  this is my reminder of the presence of the Spirit, everywhere and in all places.

May you find the bears in your life.  Welcome them as a wild part of you and respect what it is that you need to do with them and remember that every thing on this planet is part of the whole divine spirit.  Blessings to all!

Humbling experiences ...

It has been a challenging week.  I have heard stories that should never be heard.  Not because they shouldn't be told but because they should never have happened.  How can I, as a Christian, look the First Nation residential school survivor in the eye and not say I am so sorry?  How can I, as a Christian, not fall to my knees asking forgiveness of those who have been so wronged over generations? How can I, as a Christian, not seek to know what I can do to make things better for the Indigenous Peoples of this country?

This week I witnessed the two, of four courses here at Vancouver School of Theology at the 28th annual Native Ministries Consortium (NMC) where peoples from all over North America, including Hawaii, are gathered.  Time for story telling and witness to the challenges faced in the past by First Nation's peoples.  In the work I will be doing in Bella Coola B.C., I am challenged to better understand how, as a white person, I can be effective clergy and pastoral care giver.

It is through relationships with these people I am learning so much.

One term that was raised by Dr. Martin Brokenleg during our class, Aboriginal Youth Issues Today was Intergenerational or transgenerational trauma.  This is defined as a cumulative emotional, psychological, social spiritual wounding.  It occurs over the life span while bridging across generations and is the result of a massive group trauma.  This is what the youth of the First Nation's people are living with.  This trauma manifests itself in many ways such as addiction, abuse, domestic violence resulting in jail time.  The Native Canadian people are struggling with identity and unresolved grief.  But here at the NMC I see hope because I hear many people telling their story and reaching out to heal and, in turn, learning how to re-engage with life.  I see hope and life here in this place and I see how I can help those struggling in the Bella Coola community.  I am embracing all of this learning and will take it home with me. There may be mountains to climb, but I know the sun will come out tomorrow and I can find common ground with this work.  Bless all residential school survivors and may I sit and listen to each and every story.  I pray for those who cannot find a voice to tell their story and I am humbled by those who can speak their own truth.  

Perfecting a system...

Under the sink in the kitchen I have a system.  This is a system that I devised a long time ago to simplify the way I take care of waste in my house.  One is garbage, one is recycling and one is compost for the green bin.  Living alone I do not leave a huge footprint of waste but none the less I need a system. When I moved in here to share space with my son I brought with me all my systems.  The organized life that keeps me focused and on track.  My son just said this morning, as he tossed the empty cream carton in the blue bin, "Thanks mom this makes it easier!"

It is a simple system as you can see but a system none the less.  Where would we be without systems?  There are systems everywhere.  The problem arises when systems break down and no longer serve a purpose or become hurtful, or counter-productive to the very purpose they were created for.  It is then this system needs to be revisited.

Yesterday we had an uplifting and educational morning at church.  It was Aboriginal Sunday in the United Church of Canada and, with the St. Andrew's congregation I celebrated the Native Canadian.  It was uplifting and inspiring as Danielle, my daughter, told her story of her eight week stay in Winnipeg at the Inner City Mission .  She has raised over $7000 toward a van to transport children in a dangerous community and continues her work.  It is here in these educational places where we see the intentions of the early colonizers who put a system in place that went horribly wrong and it took 150 years for it to be corrected.  The system called "residential school system" was broken from the onset, but was not changed until great damage had been done and is still denied in some circles as being problematic.  For this, I ask the forgiveness of all those hurt by this system and ask to share time with the injured, hear their stories and honour the pain they have endured so I can begin to act and help with healing.  I will do that when I move to Bella Coola and begin ministry with this community.

The mending of bridges starts with a sincere apology and then changes in systems and actions.  I will do that.  I will go with a humble heart and ask the people I encounter to tell me their story.  I will listen and I will lament and mourn.  Then we will heal together.   Take a minute and listen to this short clip of song Sweetgrass and Candle (from the United Church in Canada Website) as you rest and nest in your space.  Think about the systems you have in place in your life.  Are there some that need revision?  What works for you?  Does your system bring you closer to the sacred and clear the way for you to see your own heart?  Are you reaching your own native roots?  Who are you?

The Creator is hovering, waiting for you to find your true and authentic self.  Breathing life into your life so you can find your way.  Rest in your native self and go where you are prompted.  Blessings on your journey this day and for all days forward.

Winds of Change ... a road less traveled!

This is a snap shot of a road I am being called to travel.  Carved out of the side of a mountain in order to connect isolated community with the rest of the country.  A gravelly, rough hewn trail beckoning my very soul.  Am I listening?  Can I hear the call?  At first I guffawed; "who me?" Really?  But the Holy Spirit was calling louder and louder as details began to unfold.  A symphony of wind-like sounds echoing in my heart and voila, I hear it.

Winds of change are all around us.  Just yesterday I fought the dust and debris dancing around in the high winds.  My hair product did me little good!  On second thought, it did exactly what it was created to do.  When the wind blew my hair willy-nilly it held it fast!  I felt wild and wind swept... it was fabulous.

This week is Pentecost in the life of the church.  A time when we read about ancient people writing about an ancient time when the winds of change came down upon them and life was never the same.  A time in the Hebrew scriptures when the writers tell about God messing with language and creating a babel and then a time in the early church when they better understood each other even though they were all from different places.  Canada is the Acts passage.  A diverse place where all peoples come together speaking different languages and enjoying personal culture while living in this land.  Aboriginal peoples welcoming the attempts at reconciliation, Muslims sharing prayer time, Jewish synagogues opening their doors and people who declare themselves "spiritual but not religious".   All those faithful to something within that is called spirit ... that which connects us to each other which is beyond ourselves and in-explainable.   What is it?  I believe it is a holy spirit which breathes life into our being.  That which we depend on for our very life; seven generations behind us and seven generations before ... a spirit that is suspended in time ....

(Photo by Michelle Breadner Robinson, Owen Sound Ontario)

So as you live life with some discomfort at times remember that the holy spirit is beckoning you to hear it and listen carefully.  The discomfort you feel may be due to heading in the wrong direction or imposed upon us by others (Michelle putting booties on her sweet little dog to keep her feet warm) or it may just be the winds of change in our lives which does not always feel comfortable at first!  

May the winds of change blow you in the direction of hope, peace and reconciliation.  May you breathe life into your dreams and hold them in high regard as you are called to be the best you can be.   Take that road, wear those booties trying to find your comfort zone, and embrace the style the holy spirit blows your way!  Blessings.... 

See through glass dimly

The events of the past couple of weeks has my head spinning and I know not where to turn.  Is there a deity that I should be praying to? I use the word "should" because many would suggest there is and many would suggest it is my place as a Christian to believe that the god that impregnated Mary and raised a boy into a man, only to fulfill the role of saviour/redeemer, is my evidence.  But in today's world there is so much evidence of so much evil I am fearful. I am trying to make sense of it all.   Can sense be made of any of it?

Smiles and handshaking when the 19 year old "Boston Marathon Bombing" suspect was apprehended.  Our society takes solace and comfort in this capture.  Are we safe?  I believe the next story on the heels of this tragedy tells us we place our comfort in the wrong places.  Before the ink is even dry on the arrest documents or the handcuffs cleared of the young man's sweat, there is a diabolical plan uncovered.  Two more arrests which tell of an alleged plan to derail a VIA train.

This is the bridge... where the plan would play out!

Through the smoky glass we see a man....

"Do we see through the glass dimly" as Paul suggests?  In this passage Paul is suggesting without love he has nothing and is nothing.  Where is this love in our world today?  I have compassion for the victims of the bombing and those who were injured or simply frightened by the actions of these two young men at the marathon.  I fear for those who would lay out a plan to derail a train to make a point.  I would not want to be in the role as a police or government who is held hostage while the masses look to them for "justice".  What is justice?  Who wins when we rejoice to the news one man is killed and another apprehended for actions such as these.  Are we so shallow and empty that we cannot see that this is not "justice"?  How is it we cannot see that the media feeds our fears and the authorities strive to satisfy those who are screaming "crucify him".  

My friend is grieving the death of his wife ... she died of cancer.  Years from now he will look back and only then be aware of the horrors of what was going on around him as he is drowning in his grief.  I remember basking in the joy of new motherhood while the Chernobyl disaster was unfolding on April 26, 1986.  I remember grieving and crying on my 50th birthday because I had buried my mother the day before.  In our own world we must find peace and harmony.  I believe we must turn off social media, television, radio and newspapers and look within to find the hope we need to keep from offing ourselves.  I believe today is the day to rebel against mass action against one 19 year old boy and I believe today is the day we reclaim what it means to be faithful.  Not faithful to a god that has been instrumented by ancient texts and not faithful to what other humans tell us to believe but faithful to that which is the synergy of Mother Earth and the Universe Story  ; a 14 billion year old story that by far supersedes our hunger for immediate satiation of our needs.  This is the god I choose to believe will make things right.  This is the peace I witness in my heart.  This universe will correct itself and will seek justice for all the wrongs.  My job is simply to find deep guttural love for all the bad and the good in this life and attempt to seek "justice" for every living creature.  

Earth Day

As we link divine wholeness to our lives we connect through the ground under our feet.  I am trying to unfold my wings and everyday I am challenged by my own distrust of the world.  I will find myself in Mother Earth and in my grounding to the land.

Today we honour the Earth!  The ground of our being and our home.  As I read the Cosmic Story this morning in worship we will honour the great garden of our lives.  The wonder of nature is amazing and we can see that through this short video.  What does it mean to be in touch with the Earth?  Grounded in the sacred with our feet planted firmly in the dirt.

Take time to find yourself in this day ... smile at the sunshine, watch a bird as it floats in mid-air, watch for the goodness through your child's eye.  Find the blessing in living and share it with those you love!

Heavy rain in the forecast...

There are heavy rains forecast for today... rains that will wash away the bleakness of winter and feed the roots of the spring abundance.  The temperatures are beginning to creep up and a sure sign of spring is the return of the people who migrate south for the winter months.  I was out this morning with my son's dog and I could hear the birds.  It was before the sun was up, very early, 6:00 AM and it was a lovely time of day.  It reminds me that each day we begin again and have a new day with no mistakes in it!  Can I do better today than I did yesterday?  Not that yesterday was not good but each day I want to be a better person, find greater things to do, change people's lives and encourage those who are struggling.  This is my work helping others find the sacred and be the best they can be.

Most recently I found a very good picture on Facebook.  I captured it and kept it in my "good message" folder and shared it with the congregation at Sunday morning worship.  I find it speaks to my heart and keeps me focused on living in the moment:

I try to live in the moment and let the rest fall away.  Taking the time to smell spring in the air this morning was a great way to begin my day.  Even though I had to scoop up after my son's dog (I am not fond of dogs but am helping out right now so it is part of the job) I took the time to listen to nature and smell spring in the air.  CBC radio reminds me there will be great rain in the next 24 hours and I ponder how Mother Earth will be cleansed of the salt and sand, remnants of winter.

I am reading Parker Palmer's "Let your life speak" http://www.amazon.ca/Let-Your-Life-Speak-Listening/dp/0787947350 and am loving his philosophy.  He reminds me to listen to my life and hear my vocation which is my inner voice directing my work.  I am encouraged to listen to my "true self" which for Palmer, "when violated, will always resist us, sometimes at great cost, holding our lives in check until we honour its truth" (pg. 4).  This to me is god.  Our inner voice which calls to us for relationship and beckons us to be the best we can be.  That was the Jesus story.  Come to god and you will find yourself.  Authentic self and trust in what is beyond ourselves.

Sometimes life forecasts heavy rain and we need to welcome it in order to bloom, blossom and grow spiritually.  Rest in yourself to find wholeness and love yourself and your god first ... the rest will fall into place.

Yogyakarta pictures from June 2012.  Taken by C. Breadner.