"I have an African friend who is a Powerful Wild Woman in her own right. She once told me and mother and sisters that in our American culture, we don't wail when we are grief stricken. In her culture women especially will wail and weep and let it cleanse them. They will go outside their huts and just howl. Getting over ourselves is required to find ourselves. Our grief, our pain, our self-loathing that makes us want to lash out and judge others, is a result of not enough howling; in our grief when we realized as children, this world although so miraculous, is ravaged, people are ravaged, our Wild Souls are smothered and gagged.....but we never wailed. We never howled, and wept, with arms imploring the Heavens and the Earth. We were taught to fear grief and pain and longing. But our tears, our pain our anger are incredible tools and catalysts for ourAwakening, our Growth. Stay Wild, Be Wild My Wild sister."
Anshin Beatrice Kelly
Our daily grief, that we bury and put away so not to show our vulnerability, is the means to become whole. Recently I began again with nothing but my precious things in bins. I have been prompted to revisit the devastation that has been served to me through the hands of decision makers and those who think they are in charge.
In the 1970's musical, during the whipping Pilot says to says to Jesus, "Why do you not speak, When I have your life in my hands?" and Jesus responds, through the lyrics by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, "You have nothing in Your hands, Any power You have Comes to You from far beyond, Everything is fixed and You can't change it."Not that I believe in fate as a card played when giving up and blaming life's grief on a power beyond like a great chess master, I do believe when I surrender and allow myself to feel every pain and atrocity that is imposed upon me by culture and environment it is there in the depths of the darkness my true soul reveals itself!
As I quest I see more and more the plan and flow of the energy that keeps the earth on its course and the sun rising in the east every day. I see how things come together perfectly when the hand of human desire steps out of the way. I see how things join up and cling together with magnificence to breathe life back into a wounded soul.
My studio is coming together. I am honestly not sure what I am to do here I simply know I must create it and present it so the work can be done. As this is happening I am remembering and touching the past pains and I am wailing silently, maybe it is time to wail out loud and exhaust this empty feeling and pain in my core.
Share my words, please, share and hopefully I can help someone else see their own darkness and come to fruition blooming and blossoming like a rose or a thistle.
No comments:
Post a Comment