torn between two worlds...

As I prepare for my morning walk, reading and surfing a little, I look at my favorite writers and bloggers.  It is here I find this:

Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me
         cannot be my disciple.
         None of you can become my disciple
         if you do not give up all your possessions. 
                  —Luke 14. 27, 33

I am torn between two worlds.  The material, human world in which I live and work and the spiritual world in which I seek to be part of.  In adhering to this passage to those who claim to be disciples and followers and those who live in the material world I am a misfit.  I have given up all my possessions. I do not possess a need to cling to this human life.  I have moved into a spirit place where I live here but know there is more than we see. 

Being steeped so much in death that is not directly connected to me it gives me the opportunity to see from a distance.  I can see the grief and the lack of true spiritual trust.  When we trust this is only a temporary place then how can we be in despair when those we love move on?  Should we not be joyous on their behalf.  I have heard it said, "I am so sad for {the deceased}!"  How can we be sad for the dead?  

Giving up my possessions has freed me from this world, but not without a cost.  It is this cost I work with every day in order to do effective work.