What next??

Well the time has come where I am facing a fork in the road and must chase down the rest of my dream.  I have finished classes and am ready to graduate upon the submission of the last two papers.  Such great learning I have witnessed.  Such great turmoil within my own heart.  Challenges faced down and often swimming in murky waters trying to make sense and nail down some clarity.

That being said nailing down what the divine has in store is like trying to display Jello on the fridge with a magnet or nail it to the wall.  Challenging to say the least.  But that being said how lovely is it to just lay our trust in something greater than ourselves and listen to the whispers in the night.  One thing I have learned is none of us do that to the fullest, not even me and I have been pushed to the edge of some scary cliffs.

A poem that I recently had read to me spoke to my heart and reminds me that the divine choose me not the other way around.  I am child of the universe and can connect with all that goes before me and share in the witness of all that is behind me.  I am a Christian because I follow the work and life of Jesus, I choose life on this path.  Although this poem may not be perfectly articulated the way I would in today's context and culture the message speaks to me and keeps me afloat as I move and am molded by the one who created me:


And the Lord Said Go

the Lord said go

         and i said who me

         and He said yes you

         and i said

         but i’m not ready yet

         and an important meeting is coming up

         and i can’t leave my work right now

         and you know there is no one to take my place

         and He said you’re stalling.                                    

again the Lord said go

         and i said 
         but i don’t want to

         and He said I didn’t ask if you wanted to

         and i said listen i’m not the kind of person

         to get involved in controversy

         besides my family won’t like it

         and what will my neighbours think

         and He said baloney.

and yet a third time the Lord said go

         and i said do I have to

         and He said do you love me

         and i said

         look i’m scared

         people are going to hate me

         and cut me into little pieces

         and i can’t take it all myself

         and He said where do you think I’ll be

         and the Lord said go

         and i sighed

         here i am send me.

                                     Sister Constance

                                     Virginia Seminary Alumni Magazine