Leadership?!

What does it take to be a leader?  At what point is one an expert?  When are the qualities enough for one to become a specialist?  I really do not think there are answers to these questions so I am deeming myself a leader, an expert in my field and a specialist in optimal aging and aging well in place. 

I now have over 20 years of experience working with aging adults in many capacities.  I have spiritually walked the journey with many, I have emotionally and mentally supported congregations of people, and now I have over three years of hands on caregiving.  

I am your 'person' in whatever capacity you seek to employ me.  I can help as you age or serve others who are aging.  Let me work with you.

Here are just some of the credentials which give merit to my claim:

Conestoga College, Kitchener, ON

LEADERSHIP IN LONG-TERM CARE & RETIREMENT LIVING (in progress)

Masters of Divinity, Emmanuel College

BA Hons., Laurentian University

CERTIFICATE IN GERONTOLOGY, Laurentian University, 2009

 Ontario Retirement Communities Association (ORCA) Regulatory Training

Assistance with Feeding, Violence in the Workplace, Assistance with Dressing

Assistance with Personal Hygiene, Assistance with Ambulation

OHSA, WHMIS, Assistance with Bathing, Continence Care, Administration of Packaged Medications

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Extensive training and experience in End of Life Care (Hospice), First Aid & CPR, CPI

Non-Violent Crisis Intervention, Anxiety Practical Intervention Strategies

Gentle Persuasive Approaches in Dementia Care (GPA)

Passion....

This morning as I was getting ready for day seven of eight straight days of eight hours I found my bracelet. Recently, I was performing onstage and as I got ready for each show, I would tuck my precious bracelet away as I couldn't wear it, of course, as I must be "in costume" and my bracelet just didn't fit the costume. The final night it seemed to disappear. I was so upset. I figured I would have to buy another one, but I didn't want to, I wanted THAT one because I bought THAT one at a time when I needed THAT which it stood for and the words it used to remind me.

I contacted the woman from whom I bought it and she, being the wise woman she is, said, "maybe your unconscious mind (UM) didn't need it anymore." Hmphffth, that made no sense. I wasn't ready to let it go, how could my UM make this decision without consulting me? ARG!? She is usually right so I succumbed to her thought and let it go. I have had a hell of a couple weeks. Things just seemed out of sorts, my ego was in control, I was emotionally shattered and nothing seemed right. It felt like the tail wagging the dog again .... and then something broke. Not broke in the way of broken, like a cup or glass when it hits the concrete floor, broke like a river overflowing its banks; its dam; its boundaries. Broke as in I had been the victim once again for long enough. I took my own life back and took loving charge once again. I licked my little wounds, those that felt like gaping gashes in my soul, put on the right bandaid and lo' n behold this morning, getting ready for work, there was my bracelet! On the bathroom shelf staring at me, right as rain, obvious as all get out ... and I put it back on my arm.

I had found it once again .... PASSION ... and I choose to Live Life Unbroken ... (Jennifer Febel)

Thanks OneSong (Uni-Verse) ... Thanks mysterious energy that flows in a way that no one can figure out ... Thanks for my own integrity and grit to keep looking even when I lose my PASSION!

Stage of life...

Many think that when one is "hungover" one drank too much alcohol! This is not always so. One can be hung over from many things. Today I am hungover from a four month experience with live theatre. It is not new to me as this production is the twelfth production I have participated in. From lead roles where I opened and closed the production to smaller roles like this most recent one and all leave you with an emotional hangover. The intensity and passion one puts in is intoxicating in itself.. 

While on stage you are playing a role, a new character and you must research this "person" in your heart and decide how you are going to play it. With the help of a director you create a character you present to the audience. They might laugh, cry or be indifferent to your personification of a fictional character. This brings me to ask .... do you do this in your day to day life? Are you on a grand stage where you create and develop a character that you present to the world? Who are you while on the stage of life? Are you affected by whether people laugh, cry or are indifferent to your character? Is it authentic or is it a mask? Very deep and profound thinking about the self will help you present the real and authentic you, who is comfortable with your own I AM and able to let go of whether people laugh, cry or show indifference. What does your stage look like? Who is the audience you let shape your character? Where or who is your personal director?

Is it time for LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION! ???? or do you need to go into rehearsal for a while to form that very special character to perform for the rest of your life? I can help!  

What does your stage show look like? Live life to the fullest and find your place where you can be centre stage with confidence.....

Vulnerability ...

I was chatting with a FB bestie today, someone I have never met and yet seems to be the best friend I have in the world at times, and he was asking me about my latest move. He has walked with me for about five years now. When someone asks I actually have to really think and assess it.

I have done some deep wound and soul work. I have scars that are visible, but most are not. I have looked deeply within myself and as I do research and listen to other wise people who seem to be questing I hear things that touch me to the very soul. I have studied the work of Dr. Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Jesus, Deepak Chopra to name a few. I have dug into a theological program and become so spiritually in tune that those around me cannot understand me.

Brene Brown has recently surfaced on my radar and I have now watched her two TED talks. I have come back to this theme so much in the past 10 years. Shame. What is shame? Brene says, "shame is an epidemic in our culture..." Do you know what your shame is? Can you even go there? Shame is the key to risk taking and allowing vulnerability.

It requires deep, deep desire to dive into the water. When I was chatting with my friend today and he suggested I need a good "therapist". Finding a person who can help me requires them to have gone further than I have and I have witnessed and found through research that most people do not go there, and those who provide the service often have not witnessed it themselves. So this is what I said to him:

"...it is like the ocean... most sit in a boat on the top wishing they could jump in... some do and snorkel never going deep enough to leaving the O2 behind ... some strap on a tank and go down a little and others might go into the depths... however, I FEEL so deep that I can't come back... I need to have someone who has been deeper than I am and has never come back... I need to be present with the divine mystery and those who are vulnerable enough to admit it. That is why I am good at what I do and can be with people as they crawl out of the boat and decide to take the plunge. I am good at what I do because I am below them knowing I have come through the deep and survived to this point to share my wisdom. I am good at what I do because I have the empathy and openness to hear the pain and not shudder, listen and not judge, weep along side and share my own story.

Brene also says, "vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change". Unless you are willing to be vulnerable, recognize shame in your life, it is very difficult to witness creativity and change in your life. What feels like a breakdown turned around is spiritual awareness and without change spiritual change cannot occur.

I can help!

Yesterday as I was traveling in the country I found these four legged friends... I wanted a photo ... as soon as I stopped and got out they all came running toward me. Open, vulnerable and curious. Can you be like these four legged friends?

Live life openly and with vulnerability ....

LesMar Optimal Aging

Wailing when necessary!

This quote found me today and I am inspired to call out and wail.

"I have an African friend who is a Powerful Wild Woman in her own right. She once told me and mother and sisters that in our American culture, we don't wail when we are grief stricken. In her culture women especially will wail and weep and let it cleanse them. They will go outside their huts and just howl. Getting over ourselves is required to find ourselves. Our grief, our pain, our self-loathing that makes us want to lash out and judge others, is a result of not enough howling; in our grief when we realized as children, this world although so miraculous, is ravaged, people are ravaged, our Wild Souls are smothered and gagged.....but we never wailed. We never howled, and wept, with arms imploring the Heavens and the Earth. We were taught to fear grief and pain and longing. But our tears, our pain our anger are incredible tools and catalysts for ourAwakening, our Growth. Stay Wild, Be Wild My Wild sister."

Anshin Beatrice Kelly

Our daily grief, that we bury and put away so not to show our vulnerability, is the means to become whole.  Recently I began again with nothing but my precious things in bins.  I have been prompted to revisit the devastation that has been served to me through the hands of decision makers and those who think they are in charge.

In the 1970's musical, during the whipping Pilot says to says to Jesus, "Why do you not speak, When I have your life in my hands?" and Jesus responds, through the lyrics by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, "You have nothing in Your hands, Any power You have Comes to You from far beyond, Everything is fixed and You can't change it."

Not that I believe in fate as a card played when giving up and blaming life's grief on a power beyond like a great chess master, I do believe when I surrender and allow myself to feel every pain and atrocity that is imposed upon me by culture and environment it is there in the depths of the darkness my true soul reveals itself!

As I quest I see more and more the plan and flow of the energy that keeps the earth on its course and the sun rising in the east every day.  I see how things come together perfectly when the hand of human desire steps out of the way.  I see how things join up and cling together with magnificence to breathe life back into a wounded soul.

My studio is coming together.  I am honestly not sure what I am to do here I simply know I must create it and present it so the work can be done.  As this is happening I am remembering and touching the past pains and I am wailing silently, maybe it is time to wail out loud and exhaust this empty feeling and pain in my core.

Share my words, please, share and hopefully I can help someone else see their own darkness and come to fruition blooming and blossoming like a rose or a thistle.

Standing tall in my own space ... feeling power from within!

Super Woman Stance!  Do you need power in your life?  Taking the time to stand in the SuperWoman stance will fill you with power.  Power from within yourself ... bringing it to the surface!  Where is your power source?

I am finding my own.  Truly, I have been writing and journalling and posting to my various places all in an attempt to find out what it is that I am to be doing.  Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about his conversation with the divine force before he was put in his mother's womb.  He was asked, "what to you want to teach/accomplish in this life?"  Dr. Dyer's spirit said, "resilience".  So the divine forces communicated how his life will teach him resilience so he can know it first hand, and said "then we better put your little ass in an orphanage for the first 10 years so you know how to rely on yourself and learn resilience."  

This is me.  I have spent many years learning my own lessons so I can help others learn theirs. I can't do it for them, however, I can guide and mentor them from my own life's experiences.  How valuable is coming into one's own when I can look back and realize the divine plan to this point.  The uni-verse (one-song) is made up of energy that is moving all the time.  This energy can be used for ill or for good.  For self growth or self stagnation. For enthusiastic learning or for blame.  Stand tall in your super stance and grow into who you are!

Clearing the clutter, emptying the cup!

This week I dumped my cup because it was full to overflowing with crap. With depression, doubt and deep deep worry. I dumped it. I dumped it by sharing with a trusted mentor and teacher where I was in my life and asked for help. She helped me by mirroring and using her gifts and training. I feel refreshed and ready to fill the cup once again with beauty.

Allowing our cup to overflow and pay no attention, never to be emptied, is a serious matter. Take the time to assess what is in your cup and make the choice to let it go, dump it all down the drain or in the garden. Open up space in your cup for fresh and new and begin again. Wash it with the soap of the divine love, clear it out and then watch it bloom. The woman went to the well with an empty vessel and she found living water!

When we trust beyond that which most humans allow or can trust it is amazing how the great intelligence and the energy of that which created this whole universe (uni-verse = one song), that which is nothingness, big bang that is constantly expanding and moves on the continuum of motion is in the most minute, divine.

"My life unfolds in divine order!" Depak Chopra

There are no mistakes in my life...

How do you cope when things seem to go wrong?  How do you look at these seemingly catastrophic times?  Death, job loss, relationship breakdown, children on wrong path, money issues, etc., etc.  Have you ever thought that there are no mistakes in your life?

This concept comes easier as the years move along.  Young people come out of distinctive learning and teaching from well meaning adults in their life.  So as life then deals hard times the "go-to" ways of coping do not always work.  Life's lessons are hard.  I know because I have learned the hard way too.  However this being said I honestly realize there are no mistakes in life.  The mistakes are when I doubt myself, put myself down, question my own judgement or simply do not trust in my own ability.  When I let life come to me and open my heart and my eyes I see with such clarity.  That being said having clarity and seeing clearly is not always easy; culture and society do not want you to see clearly.  

So start at the beginning.  Open your eyes ... listen and witness spiritual wellness.  How do you do that?  By coming to "Spirit Care 101" classes starting soon in your town.  Watch for locations near you or if you want to host an event feel free to contact me. 

I am willing to travel to you ... because when invited I know I am to go ... take a bird's eye view of your cracks and crevasse ... look at your peaks and valleys.  

Who am I?

As I migrate to Owen Sound over the next few months and begin to work with aging adults I am looking for new clients in the Owen Sound, Meaford, Chesley, Bruce County area. Being trained to care for aging adults in many ways I have skills, education and knowledge that lends itself to in home care for any aging adult.

I hold a Masters of Divinity which is education in spiritual and soul care, providing help with those who are looking to ask the deep pondering questions.  Pastoral care is very important to me as I sit at a bedside and help anyone deal with life's challenges emotionally and spiritually.

I hold a Bachelor of Arts majoring in Religious Study.  With this degree through Laurentian University I was surprised at how little "religion" we studied and how excited I was to learn about alternative care practices.  These practices generated a rounded approach to optimal aging through self care which compliments the medical care received when feeling unwell.  This education helps me work with a person before they become "dis"eased and sick.

I hold a Certificate in Gerontology.  While pursuing the BA I studied in depth about optimal aging including social aging and the problems the older adult faces in society.  I learned about home care and aging in place to keep older adults in their home longer and with family support saving thousands of dollars in formal caregiving.  I also studied and welcome hospice care.  Being with a person at end of life is a gift.  It is a pleasure to share this time both with the dying and with the family.

I hold three designations with canfitpro.  All certificates granted because I have done study and practical exams in order to learn about fitness and healthy eating.  First I hold FIS, Fitness Instructor Specialist, which allows me to lead group fitness classes.  Secondly, I hold PTS, Personal Trainer Specialist, which allows me to lead one on one instruction and help a person accomplish their goals.  Lastly, I hold a HWL, Healthy Eating and Weight Loss specialist, which allows me to work with people who want to eat healthier and lose body fat.  All three work hand in hand together making me a well rounded professional.

I have worked in the spiritual care industry as well has hands on care as the manager of an eight person hostel.  Cooking, cleaning, supervising and companionship were all part of the job.

I truly want to work with you to make your life easier and to aid in helping you or a member of your family.

Call me for a conversation.  My rates are very reasonable and I have a plethora of references ... Let me help!

www.LesMar.ca

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Crisp Winter Day

Winter  has alluded the area I live in until the past few days when the wind and snow reminded me what winter can be like.  However, today the brilliant sunshine awakened me as it popped over the horizon reminding me the sun does come out after a storm.  This is such a simple analogy and one that is used so often it seems over done.  Days like today though I need the reminder as I witness storms in my own life.  It appears I am always changing and breaking new ground.

As I age and allow myself to open up I realize that as children we are sponges that soak up everything, good and bad and the ugly. Now I am a discerning adult I have the choice to let the bad and the ugly go and drop them into the depths of darkness and leave behind the bright light of love and free choice. When I take time to meditate and listen deeply to the spirit within, via the unconscious mind, I hear the messages from the divine source within. The higher self is the purpose of my life and as it speaks to the depths of me it is only through setting aside the 2% of my consciousness that I am able to hear that which is good and healthy.

I do this through meditative times, reading good work, staying away from the news, letting go those in my life that do not serve this higher calling and by aging with grace and understanding that we are not meant to remain young and vulnerable. We as the human spirit are meant to be ageless and free.

My journey has not been smooth. Quite rocky at times and those who have traveled it personally with me know I am always climbing on the next horse that wants to buck me off... is this good? I believe it has been the ride I needed to take in order to get where I am.

Nothing is a mistake. There are no mistakes in my life. Divine wisdom and depth of understanding come at a cost of listening. Sometimes I wouldn't listen ... and learned lessons the hardest way. Today I begin listening deeper once again, peeling back yet another layer of conscious candy coating placed there by the should's and need to's of society and culture.

Today may you be different, walk your own walk and listen deeply to that which is the authentic you .... Come along with me as we journey into the dawn of the new day. It is time...