#breakingstibah ... what is it and how can it be part of my life ...

As I peruse facebook and read the posts I look for things that stir in me a new thought or desire.  Today somewhere in my visual travels through words, posts and pictures I was brought back to a verse in the bible.  Full disclosure, is I have studied the bible in depth as I am a lapsed seminarian; one who studied in seminary.  I graduated with a degree called masters of divinity and stood to be ordained in the Christian church.  It did not happen.  Why?  Because "god" had better plans and I, although fighting and screaming, had to respect that.  How do I define "god"? ... that is a good question for anyone and respect for this question is top on my priority list.

Today, I understand my own journey so much better.  Upon graduation and rejection by the Christian church process, I looked down the road through a deep depression and, while in a haze of alcohol,  wondered about my purpose and meaning of my life.  I faced down the journey and wondered "what now?" and began again.  I turned away from the church and slowly struck out to find out what it is I am to be doing and I have found that and so much more.   Change is not easy, it cannot be easy or we would not learn from it.  The key?  Change is possible, never easy.

The verse Romans 8:33 "Who will bring a charge against God's chosen ones? Since God is the one who justifies, who has the power to condemn?"   With my own travels and journey scripture has taken on new meaning as wisdom literature and I respect it in a whole new way.  As I read it, I have come to a point where I can see beyond my own baggage of the ancient Christian doctrine that was developed to keep the masses in check and to paint "god" as a judgemental and punishing force.  I have deeply connected with the energy that turns the earth, keeps the stars in the sky and produces a tomato from a seed.  I believe firmly that I am a chosen one because, based on the mysterious understanding of far more than I can understand, I know I choose to be here, present and positive.  I choose to have a faith in love and kindness.  With this understanding and choice there can be no charge against me and I live in a peaceful way.  I feel no condemnation because I see the world in a way that allows for a humble spirit and know that human frailty causes great pain and poor choices.  I cannot be condemned unless I condemn myself ... that is the hard work, choosing to love the self.

#breakingstibah is my way of teaching what I have found to be true.  Bringing others to their own realization and laying out a path of firm ground for anyone to walk and find themselves.  #breakingstibah is a means to an end.  A route .... it is a community building exercise ....

I have come so far ... and it is so exciting and life giving. 

Change is hard however always possible!

#breakingstibah ... as the year comes to a close and 2019 is just days away the excitement builds. I love the changing of the year as it refreshes me and reminds me that I can always start over. I can always change my ways. I can always do something again.

I cannot forget or sweep under the carpet the past however what I can to is learn from it and remember how it is important to honour my choices and honour how I handled a situation when I was less observant.

Mindfulness is key to life's journey. Practice of mindfulness makes for an easier life. Most recently I walked into the corner of the glass table top. I now have a bruise. I laughed as I did it because I have not done that for a very long time. In the past, I did it all the time. Ran into things, bumped into stuff, ran headlong into other staff in my past workplaces, nudged up against bad decisions and was always late.

No more. I have changed and I chose to change. I took life by the horns and wrestled it back around to face me. Like riding on the back of a runaway horse I was the passenger in my own life. The hitchhiker that had been picked up by a runaway train, living in the car of blame, victimhood and complicity. Every way I looked at it I was attached to this whirling dervish of energy I called my life.

No more. It has taken a long time to change, mold and break the routines of my own destruction. Nothing happens overnight. I have lots of work to do yet.

How about you? Have you looked into the mirror lately? Have you held up a looking glass to your life so you can see what you need to change?

Be your own best friend and change your thoughts and your life!

(picture is from 2012, a trip that changed my life)

2019 .... it's almost here! What are your plans?

God Is Consciousness! Even more than that God is also the unconsciousness of human existence... it is that which it means to exist.

Quote by Matthew Fox "Our capacity to think, reflect, ask questions, become aware and more aware, expand awareness, all this is consciousness. Is all this God? Is God our awareness--including our awareness and experience of God? Psychologist R. D. Laing thought this; he felt that 'God is our experience of God.' Deepak Chopra says: 'God is pure consciousness, the source of all thoughts, feelings, and sensations.'"

#breakingstibah is coming to the realization of this quote. Being conscious of your own world and where it is you live.

Two fish are swimming and one says, "how's the water?"** The other says, "what water?" "Follow me!" says the first. They swim hard straight up and burst forth into the air above. While up there the first fish says ... "see, there, that's water!" and then they plunge back down. Often we cannot see or be aware of the "water".

So #breakingstibah asks "how's the water?" Do you know? Are you aware? Come walk with me, talk with me and grow!

2019 is almost here. What goals are you setting for personal growth? What challenges are you laying out for change? #breakingstibah ... a plan, a course, a path.

**Analogy: Eddie O'Connor Ph.D. The Psychology of Performance.

Breaking Stibah ....

So here we are, you and I, talking about breaking stibah.  Sounds like a term that would be attached to a foreign language, a religious ritual or maybe messing with rules and regulations.  Honestly, it is all of that wrapped up into a lifetime of learning.  It's something to be discussed over a cup of tea.

What is breaking stibah?

It is a pattern interrupt.
It is a change of direction.
It is process.
It is "the way" you will travel.
It is learning.
It is hope.

I am Cynthia Breadner and in 2019 I will celebrate my 60th birthday.  This may not be significant to anyone but me, however, I have witnessed 60 years on this planet and every one of the last 39 years has been filled with learnings and life's lessons.  Not one of the last 40 years have I not wondered,  "why I am here on this earth".  Not one of the last 61 have I not known there is a purpose to my existence of which I now better understand.

More recently, over the last 10 - 15 years, I have been engaged in a spiritual journey to find the answers.  I found the answer.  The answer I found is there are no answers.  What I found is more questions and how we ask and live those questions propel us forward and how we grow.  This is what breaking stibah is all about.  Breaking stibah is about breaking through, breaking routine, breaking historical learning and breaking out of your shell.

The word "stibah" was inspired through my reading of the Harry Potter books this past year.  I had pledged to read 12 books cover to cover in 2018 and, with my daughter's probing, I decided to read the seven HP books.  I am currently reading #6 The Half Blood Prince ... I have completed more than my 12 promised books, some were audio as I was reading the Harry Potter series.  In the first book there was the mirror of erised .... from the book comes this,  "Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi"   At this point I am not going to go into what it all means.  If you figure it out maybe it will interest you enough to find out  more about my programs, teaching and leading.  If you cannot see it, then come to my introductory program and you will learn what it is all about.

Walk with me,

Talk with me,

Share the journey with me.

Are you brave enough?

What if I show you everything you need to know?

Contact me today I have the kettle on!

647-234-9351

Cynthia Breadner M.Div., BA Hons., 

Hypnotherapist, Grief Counselor, Healthy Eating and Weight Loss Coach,

Group Fitness Certified, Personal Trainer. 

cynthiabreadner@gmail.com