2013 ... what will be new this new year?

Upon graduating I am now seeking to find my future.  I am passionate about elder care, bereavement care and hospice care.  As I seek to fulfill my own spiritual quest I find more and more I am connected to the earth and the seasons.  Living in Ontario, Canada I love the blanket of snow that is covering the green grass and keeping things quiet for the hibernating animals.  Spring will burst forth with new life in no time.  Can we apply this passion and love of life and death to our own world?  Can we overcome our fear of death and have a "good death"?  In dying we come to realize how precious life is here on earth but when we live seasonally we realize there must be more than what we can see.

Travel with me and embrace the frailty of human life.  Live while you can live and die when the time comes. 

In a good life there can be a good death.

What next??

Well the time has come where I am facing a fork in the road and must chase down the rest of my dream.  I have finished classes and am ready to graduate upon the submission of the last two papers.  Such great learning I have witnessed.  Such great turmoil within my own heart.  Challenges faced down and often swimming in murky waters trying to make sense and nail down some clarity.

That being said nailing down what the divine has in store is like trying to display Jello on the fridge with a magnet or nail it to the wall.  Challenging to say the least.  But that being said how lovely is it to just lay our trust in something greater than ourselves and listen to the whispers in the night.  One thing I have learned is none of us do that to the fullest, not even me and I have been pushed to the edge of some scary cliffs.

A poem that I recently had read to me spoke to my heart and reminds me that the divine choose me not the other way around.  I am child of the universe and can connect with all that goes before me and share in the witness of all that is behind me.  I am a Christian because I follow the work and life of Jesus, I choose life on this path.  Although this poem may not be perfectly articulated the way I would in today's context and culture the message speaks to me and keeps me afloat as I move and am molded by the one who created me:


And the Lord Said Go

the Lord said go

         and i said who me

         and He said yes you

         and i said

         but i’m not ready yet

         and an important meeting is coming up

         and i can’t leave my work right now

         and you know there is no one to take my place

         and He said you’re stalling.                                    

again the Lord said go

         and i said 
         but i don’t want to

         and He said I didn’t ask if you wanted to

         and i said listen i’m not the kind of person

         to get involved in controversy

         besides my family won’t like it

         and what will my neighbours think

         and He said baloney.

and yet a third time the Lord said go

         and i said do I have to

         and He said do you love me

         and i said

         look i’m scared

         people are going to hate me

         and cut me into little pieces

         and i can’t take it all myself

         and He said where do you think I’ll be

         and the Lord said go

         and i sighed

         here i am send me.

                                     Sister Constance

                                     Virginia Seminary Alumni Magazine

.."give us this day our DAILY bread..."

A letter in response to a friend's email......

I have difficulty trying to articulate what I find in your email or what I sense from your words because for me I feel it is not up to me to tell you how to be faithful.  You are bright and have such great thoughts.  Maybe too great (lol) because you think very deeply and therefore lean into what it is that troubles you to try to find answers.

I am finding lately that I am trying to live simply.  Not looking too much into the future and trying not to take on things that are so big that I feel overwhelmed by the thoughts eg environmental issues and the end of the earth as we know it, because truthfully I have lived 53 years and I have some history but it is still a blip on a screen for the years that the earth has existed so who am I to worry about mother earth?  I think she can take good care of herself.  She may cut us off, spit us out and we may cease to exist for a while as humans but in the billions of years the scientists say the earth has existed why are we so arrogant to think we can save the earth? (picture at right is my bunk in Yogyakarta, Indonesia very similar to how I am living right now as I finish up my degree)

So my job is to make my time and the time of those who I care about as rewarding and good as possible.  I am only here for maybe 80years or so ... and I just need to be sure I am a good person, care for the earth as I can and share what I can about what it means to me to do so.  That is all there is for me.

I need to earn enough of a living to feed myself because my children need to tend to their future.  It is not up to me to be sure they are left with millions.  I gave them life by birthing them and they came into this world with the skin on their ass and need to cover that ass as they see fit.

I try to be happy to my own core and worry about what it is that I need to be happy.  I try to help others to be happy and content.  I can't control how they feel I can only listen and then hope they have emptied their cup enough to move on.  Sounds cynical but most people like living in misery and really don't want to be happy, being happy means they may have to relax and let go and enjoy life.  That is not what society teaches us.  Materialism means we are never satisfied .. and need to buy more "stuff" ... so we are conditioned to be discontent.

That all being said ... I struggle too with what it means to be content and find God, god, higher power... and the creator story... who am I?  who I am.. is a big question and only I can answer it.  My faith helps me do so and my faith allows me to trust that there is lessons to be learned, places to be happy, and it is worth the struggle in the long run.

Spirit is willing, flesh is weak

I have recently reconnected with a person from my past and it is an awakening of my spirit.   I have the opportunity through the lens of my friend to revisit what I believe in and what makes it authentic.  How do I see God?  What does Jesus represent to me? Where is my faith in light of doctrines and church obedience?  As I walk this journey I am steeped in governance in ministry and a course called, "Confessing Our Faith".  The "our" of this course is The United Church of Canada (UCC).  An inclusive, pluralistic and progressive organization which is reaching into the 21st century world. The UCC is a place were everyone can come to the table and sup.  Sharing in the bread and the wine is a way of sharing common roots and understanding the good news of our gospel with others who may find God in an other way.  Does it really matter how we get there as long as we better understand what it is that we are seeking?  My friend and a woman I greatly respect, Gretta Vosper, has shed a light on this thinking even while placing herself in danger.  She has relinquished the title, "God" because she wants us to understand the weight this title carries.  In the USA it is printed on their money, "In God we trust" but in what God, whose God and by what definition are we to know this trust is authentic?

My journey has only yet begun.  Although I have been on it for a long time, 50 years or so, I realize I am always at the beginning.  I cannot ever move beyond the beginning because as I realize more and more about what I believe, what I stand for, how I live my life it feels like a fresh start yet again and I walk it with wide eyed innocence.

Matthew 26:40-41 says, "Jesus returned to the disciples, he found them asleep.  He said to Peter, "couldn't you stay awake with me for even an hour?  Be on guard, and pray that you may not undergo trial.  The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."  Jesus asks us to stay awake and prepare ourselves for the world.  We never know when we will be on trial for what it is we stand for, trust and believe.  When we anchor ourselves in our beliefs and know what it is we truly believe we can then withstand what Jesus did.  That is the point of the resurrection in my heart, he stood for what he believed and it was raised up after humanity killed him for it. He stood for something so much greater than we can ever conceive, but we can stay awake and welcome the spirit that takes us on this wonderful journey and exploration. 

These pictures are ones I took while studying and exploring the island of Java.  My journey has only begun, where are you on yours?

trimming the sails...

With a full week under my belt in my new location I am reflecting on how the past fades into just that, the past.  Yesterday I was in the pulpit at St. James for the one of the last three Sundays there.  The scripture on which I was focusing is in Mark 9:30-37.  Where the disciples argue about who is the greatest.  What does it matter who is great?  We are all great in our own way and with God by our side, in our heart and helping us to focus on being great we would have a hard time losing that argument.  I feel great and I feel capable of doing great things for others.  Helping in the world and sharing the good news.  In reading for my classes I am discovering how young the United Church of Canada is in perspective.  With 2000 years of church history there has been much fighting and arguing about who is the greatest.  Today there is fighting between religions asking the same question, "who is the greatest?" and it is all a moot point.

We are all great.  Great in all we do when we keep those close to us in our vision and care for our brothers and sisters.  I have helped St. James see how great they are and how they can be greater in the community and I hope to do that again in another church.

When we see our greatness through the eyes of a child and embrace the child in everything we do then we win.  My friend was saying in his comment that we cannot control the wind but we can trim the sails.  I am trimming the sails as I listen to God's call.  As I move with the wind and let the Spirit take me I am thankful to God for my greatness and my passions. 

Fabulous Fall Planning

Even though we have had summer weather since early spring I do not believe anyone gets sick of it.  I find the heat difficult to deal with but I love the green and the beauty of the summer abundance.  That being said the changing of seasons is a part of Canada's life.  Unlike our neighbour to the south who can move around within its boundaries and change their weather experience, Canada weathers four seasons from coast to coast.  Personally, I love it!  I think it is a physical way to learn about our spiritual lives.

The changing of seasons is witnessed in our lives as well as our environment.  We have times of greater darkness and the days are not always full of sunshine.  We weather turmoil and stormy seas at times and learn to cope in the eye of a hurricane.  It is not what comes our way that strengthens us but how we deal with the challenges in our lives.

May the storms in your life be supported and may you be strengthened by love.  It is in tough times we feel the love of others and this love reminds us that God is with us as we struggle.  Feel supported as you weather life, lean on others and share these hard times. 

2 Samuel 11:26-12:13a

This week's lectionary is the followup to David having Uriah killed so he could be with Bathsheba.  Hard story to read but all in a day's work.  Last night at a video study I was awakened by the hunger of some folk to better understand the Bible and what it says.  Being deep in study for many years now I sometimes forget that the people I teach and work with are often where I was many years ago.  Hungry, eager and curious.  Where did that go for me? 

It is refreshing actually to read texts like 2 Sam. to remind myself how power can get in the way of God's work.  How we get so wrapped up in what we need, where we need to go and what day to day chores need to be done we forget to remember that God is with us asking us to care and love for our neighbour.   As Nathan weaves a tale that David is quick to condem the main character we are reminded that it takes community to hold a mirror in front of our face.  It takes community to keep us real and honest with what God wants us to accomplish and it takes community to help us accomplish it.  Building and caring for community is God's work.

My future is cloudy, simply because I am unsure of what is next in my journey.  But that being said I trust that the God I believe in will open the doors I need when I need them and it is my job to keep my eyes open, listen and be mindful of this partnership.  As God saturates me with love I will be fine. 

May you find food for your journey and community to walk along beside you.

apathy,,,, meloncholy

Thoughts to a friend:

As I struggle with this new faith journey and face what it is to be a Christian I think the biggest struggle I have is with apathy. This overwhelming sense of desire to say "who cares?", "who REALLY cares???" My sense and image of God sometimes lays in fragments on the floor around me waiting for me to put it back together.

However, that being said when I was away on my trip, the worship and spirituality professor made a comment that she couldn't duplicate. It was like a momentary thought that she tossed out and only I heard it. I asked her about it and she went back in her notes and could not recollect saying it or where it came from in her lecture.

She talked about the light of Jesus hitting a prism and being fragmented onto the wall in colourful display. That was it, one thought and one sentence. Since then I have been thinking about this and toying with it in my mind. I also have a great distinction now between the man Jesus, this man who we read about in the gospels and then the "Christ" that has fed the doctrines over the last 2000 years. So where is Jesus in this prism of light that is refracting all around me shattered into shards of light that I have to wade through? Who is the God that Jesus was calling us back to? What does this God look like? Being a Jewish man, Jesus was travelling the "way" which is the Jewish journey, he was calling us back to his roots, the root of all creation the YHWH ... the spirit of our central being.

That is the passion we seek. That is what Jesus died for, fighting the apathy of the material world and reminding us that we have to be passionate in order to feed our spirit and the spirit of the great one. Jesus was alive, angry and was missional. He is not the Christ we have created ...

He is the very essence of passion that burns within us to be shared in relationship with all of God's people. It is still in you! I know. Sit quiet and listen to the wee small voice within, nurture your pain and then release it to the passion you know burns in your heart.

May the God of hope be with you as you journey through this sea of indifference and defeat. Swim hard, and when you come up for air God will say, "there is my son with whom I am well pleased" and you will find your passion again ..... the emergent God is fighting for a place in our world.... the emergent God is in you, but is being stifled by history, apathy and melancholy ... let the emergent God sooth your soul and refresh your passion....

I need to answer my own question, "who cares?" I must care or the corruption and doctrines of this world will win!

... and rest clears the mind...

Thankfully it has cooled off!  My apartment is only 76 right now and it is 5AM.  Feels refreshing!  The dawn is about to break and I can hear the birds beginning to chirp.  The first light of the day is playing peek-a-boo on the horizon.  Kenny Chesney is softly singing from the old radio that my mom used to stand at the kitchen counter, looking out the kitchen window, and listen to the funeral announcements.  The wheat is ripening, farmers are resting and I am teasing a message from my heart for the eager Sunday morning ears.  Can it get any better than that?

Where is your staircase leading you?
The scripture I am working with today is Ezekiel 2:1-5 and Mark 6:1-13 where there is a common thread of human frailty within certain context. Ezekiel has been called by God to do the job that most are called to do. Care for others and watch over humanity. In biblical terms he is called a 'prophet' calling out to those who have rebelled and turned away from the God of Israel. God is telling Eze to go and take a stand. God reminds Eze that the people are "impudent and stubborn" (vs4). Funny the people of 6th century BCE sound much like us today. Then in Mark, Jesus has returned to his hometown and begins to teach. Those who are listening are a little leery. The bible says they were "astounded". I wonder if that is what Justin Beiber witnesses when he returns to Stratford? His mom likely still chastises him for leaving his cereal bowl on the counter.

Well Jesus comes into this context and attempts to share with them what he has learned and what he knows about God. Ezekiel begins his journey trying to help people understand that the God of Israel is for real. Both on a journey that feels like a mammoth task. Has anything changed today? As students of Jesus we look out into a world that is consumed with materialism, greed, poverty and a numbness that has taken over the young people.  Where is it leading us?  With worship and spirituality being contained into one hour on a Sunday morning for a very select few how do we stand on the soapbox and tell those who have been pawns in a consumerist world to wake up and realize their very soul is being raped by their behaviour?

We do it by being Christian.  We follow Jesus and continue to share the good news that God is alive and well in our heart and that should we become present to the spirit we will feel a renewed breath of life.  While I was away in Jogja, I realized and separated Jesus from Christ.  The man Jesus stood for much  more than the Christian faith gives him credit for.  Like Ezekiel before him Jesus was called to God to save the people from themselves and in the wake Roman execution Jesus somehow morphed into this superhero.  A superhero who was predestined and predetermined to the death he endured. 

So I ask you what does it mean for you to be a Christian?  Are you tied to doctrines and predestination or are you a Jesus follower and an Ezekiel that God can nudge, from the inside out, to "stand up on your feet and hear what God has to say to you" (vs1)?  God is real, but real in the sense that God is within the fibre of our being as the creator of all life and through the Spirit we are called to live and breath.  Life is about action and challenging others to step up when they see injustice and step out of the luxuries that numb us into a sense of security. 

Separate Jesus from Christ and come to the hometown of Nazareth, go out two by two and help to cleanse the world of social poisons, free yourself from the material overkill and feel the freedom that can be in your heart.  As the sun comes up over the horizon it will rise afresh as you see the world through a new lens.

The cycle continues.......

Many friends and family were quick to tell me, “don’t go out alone!” and I honour that concern but once you are here for a week or so and have been tossed into a new society you begin to see the presence of God all around you and begin to feel more comfortable and secure. I believe most of those loving concerns were targeted at my safety whenever a loved one goes into the unknown. Do we not say that to our children every day, “stick together honey, there is safety in numbers”.

 In a fear based society, such that we live in North America, we must witness true diligence. Should something unthinkable happen to someone we know we can take solace in the fact that we warned the person, or that we knew something like this could happen, or confirm our greatest fears go on all over the place when we tune into the evening news. But after our outing this morning and a “boxed” lunch I decided to walk to the store at the end of the lane. I say lane because the dorm faces out onto a very narrow lane. This lane is one car wide and barely wide enough for the buses we travel on to come and go. I went alone. The first day I was here I accompanied another student on a walk. This student had been here for 24 hrs or so and had already mastered the busy street at the end of the lane. It is consistently busy with bikes, cars and other vehicles and you must be aggressive to quickly cut across and they will slow for you but they do not stop. I wanted ice cream and I wanted to simply reclaim my independence. I am in a safe neighbourhood I am told, and it was the echo of my family and friends in my head that had kept me waiting for a companion.

However, as our visit opens up people are falling into community and like-mindedness and if one is to wait to always be accompanied one may spend a lot of time in one’s room. So off I went on my own. I walked past a construction site. I know it is a construction site because they are renovating something. Not sure what it is, but men are working and there is a cement mixer and hammering and scaffolding. It looks dissimilar to what I know as a construction site because men are in shorts, flip-flops and there is an absence of head protection. Like all men in the world then noticed a single white female walking and proceeded to cat-call. I ignored them like I do in Canada (although secretly it strokes my ego that at 52 I can still encourage cat-calls, but I soon chastise myself with a reminder they are quite far away!) and they carried on about their business. I went to the store and looked around. It was fun to guess what was in packages by pictures and surrounding items since it is all in another language. I got my ice cream after a person who seemed like a woman but looked more like a man came into the store burst into song and promptly left. I asked myself, Dorothy are you sure you aren’t in Kansas anymore because that person would have fit perfectly in Toronto! Speaking of this special person….

Today I visited a place where some fear to tread with or without friends. It was a house which is a school/harbour for the GLTB community. GLTB stands for gay, lesbian, transgendered, and bi-sexual and in North America I think we have added another letter to that acronym to represent the inter-sexed community. It is owned by a woman who has been severely marginalized because of her ambiguous means of living. She was born a man but felt like a woman all her life. How must that feel? I haven’t looked in the mirror very often since I arrived because there is no need. My hair is short so I wash, fluff and go out. I haven’t been wearing any cosmetics other than a little eye brow filler, (and for that I used a 3” diameter magnifying mirror) and I only do that because I am vain, but other than that there is little to see. My identity is in my head. I feel my breasts and my genitals and they match what society tells me I am: a woman. What must it feel like to identify all that makes you a woman but not have full breasts and sport a handsome penis? It makes me sad that we, and I mean society, cannot look beyond our own 3” magnifying mirror and our own vanity and see what some people live with every day. The seriousness of what makes us “who” we are and to understand we are all God’s children in every way. I wish we could look beyond our cultural constructions, society’s norms and stereotypical behaviours and love our neighbor as we want to be loved ourselves. The icing on this lovely cake is that this house is primarily serving the Islamic community. In your media fed understanding of Islam I am sure you wonder how these people are left to live freely and practice Islam. The Imam is liberated and welcoming and the government has given this school status so it is protected and honoured. As I was walking alone this afternoon I was not alone. I was in God’s creation with others who I have not been introduced to but others who are also children of God. They are simply strangers to me because we haven’t met yet but they are not strangers to the collective faith that we all carry of which is a knowledge that there is a force to which we are all a part of. I choose to call this force God.

Today I met many wonderful human beings who just want to live as God has made them. To have the freedom to love their spiritual identity and match it to their humanness whatever that means. I didn’t have to come to Indonesia to see this community it is in my own back yard. 61 Isaiah Street: A place of refuge for all … The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. Thanks be to God.

“Toto we are not in Kansas anymore!” Dorothy, Wizard of Oz

Although the house is not tending to twitch or pitch I am know I am out of familiar surroundings and yet there are times when I feel quite at home. I am also developing a habit that I am in bed about 9 or so and then up about 3:00AM. I don’t seem to need much more sleep than that. However, by about 6 PM in the evening I begin to feel weary with things needing to be done in the evening. Yesterday was our first day of class and it is going to be challenging to have 7 AM call for breakfast, 8 AM Worship, 8:30 on the bus, 9 – 12:00 Class, return travel by bus, which takes 3x as long as the morning commute and we think Toronto has traffic. Then 1 PM lunch, 3 PM class, 7 PM Dinner, 8 PM worship and then bed sounds like a good idea. In between that we have to find time to read and reflect on this exciting journey. You may have noticed there is about 2 hours (5 – 7 PM) where there is a little free time ~ siesta anyone? Like Dorothy, I am treading softly on the yellow brick road looking for my way. Last night at worship the theme that Marianne spoke about was how God is our light. She used the story of a lamplighter who cares a lamp as they go on their journey. The journey may be long or short but the lamp is lighting the way. This being said we are reminded that the lamp only lights a step or two at a time and although we can see the whole way along we are only given light for where we are at the time. It felt like God was whispering in my ear! I could hear how this was so true of my journey and how I need to concentrate on the steps I am taking today and tomorrow and let the past go while trusting the future will unfold before me just as it should. At 4:15 AM every morning there is the Muslim call to prayer. It is strange to me because I am not accustomed to being awakened at that time each night. Considering I am up anyway it gives me a chance to reflect on my own prayer time. Knowing that my Muslim brothers and sisters are praying to the same God we all trust and love I can join in my Christianity and pray along with them. I am reading a wonderful book by Timothy Gianotti, a professor of Islamic Studies who I met at Huron College. It is a wonderful introduction to better understand faith, religion and Islam. I hope to share it with a group when I get home sometime this fall. Blessings upon you all and keep me in your prayers as I will do the same.

Frustrations of technology

Well folks I have some bad news that my computer has crashed here in Indonesia so my posts will be few and far between because unlike our culture there is not an internet cafe on every corner and I would be hard pressed for time to even find one! Class homework and preparation is very demanding and there has been talk that it is over expectations. So we are all dealing with our heads in articles and books and trouble accessing internet to get resources. It is a great experience and it will all be worth it. I will post when I can but will say so long for now!

Yogja Day 1 Rested and Adjusted

Well after a long haul of three flights and a lovely bus ride I arrived into the university campus last night at about 7 pm local time. Funny how the day came to a close so quickly as the sun sets much faster here close to the equator. We in the north are blessed with lovely sunsets and diminishing light. A beauty we take for granted. Here it is like someone just turns off the lights.

The first thing I noticed was the odors as I came out of the airport. New smells overwhelmed me and I realized I needed to take a minute and acclimatize. Thanking God for a safe and uneventful journey I asked that my nose not be attached to my stomach for a bit. This seemed to give me the time to organize my head away from my nose and give my stomach a break. As we drove from the airport I was reminded of Cuba and the Dominican Republic where it seems there is chaos all around. I truly do not know how the drivers do not crash. Motorcycles are the vehicle of choice an as you skip across the road in front of a car you must watch there isn't a motorcycle coming up the outside edge. I almost got picked off, not to mention I was looking the wrong way as they drive on the right here. We had a preliminary meeting last night with those who have arrived but honestly I literally almost fell off my chair. I fell asleep just sitting there. You can see by the picture that I was already pretty tired and this was taken just before we loaded up for the third flight. I have a woman from India as my roommate. She is the one on the far left. She better understands the bathrooms that have the white hole in the ground where you place your feet on either side and squat. Thankfully for us North Americans there are some bathrooms with flush toilets as well. But I braved a pee into the hole in the ground and did not fall in nor did I pee on my underwear so I feel I can survive anything now. We had a light breakfast which consisted of an egg and bread. There was some watermelon brought out after and the locals smiled when there were chocolate sprinkles to put on their bread. Local custom I think. It was wonderful to share a meal and better understand all those who have come so far.

The UK woman has already mentioned she is going to have trouble with the heat, and so I will be thinking of her as I pray for everyone who is feeling out of their element to find a way to enjoy their time here and not yearn for home. I am blessed to be here I know. My good friend Fred Joblin visited me in my dream last night. He died last year and he was there with me reminding me that in the chaos of life is when God is changing and working with us. God is around us in everything we experience. It is not about being good for God it is about being in God, with God and loving like God created us to love. I am in heaven in my heart and I am blessed to be having this experience. God Bless and have a wonderful day!

Nourishment from the clouds

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said: We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them, for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves. All we need is to imagine our ability to love developing until it embraces the totality of men and the earth.

As I listen to the rain gently falling outside and thoroughly enjoy a cup of tea it is with strength and faith that I feel the presence of God. Pierre Teilhard speaks about each of us being a spiritual being having a human experience on this earth. Our earthly bodies are the host to this spirit and is allowed to experience the sweetness of ice cream, the richness of chocolate, the passion of love and the struggle with social injustice. As this spirit comes from God we are infused with God in ways that most are unaware. Simply sitting in the presence of the rain gives peace and understanding that echoes loudly in our heart. Who is God? What is God? Where is God? Often in times of darkness we ask that last question over and over again. Why is it we never ask it when things are going well? I believe it is because we are arrogant enough to believe that we are in charge when things are good and then blame God when things are rough. The truth is God is with us always, through the good and the bad, and spiritual fulfillment is when we find God in all times and places. Jesus knew God very well and was steeped in the Holy Spirit. Jesus was a powerful presence of God, so powerful the biblical writers remembered him years after his death and were complelled to write about this presence. The Apostle Paul experienced Jesus in ways most of us can only hope to experience and he spread the good news throughout the early church. The Bible is our source of understanding God and knowing the presence of God in our lives based on the eye witness accounts. Is the Bible true? I believe the Bible is true, although it may not have happened exactly as it is written. Truth goes far beyond factual accounting. Truth is in the heart of those who believe. Have a wonderful May long weekend and remember to find God in everything you do.

Weathering....

It has been a while since I posted to my blog. I like to think it is because I have been busy weathering. Since the last post I have completed the second of two intense semesters at seminary. I am within three courses of graduating. One of the things I have learned about going to seminary is how it challenges one's faith. The London Free Press has been running articles on the weekend questioning the faith of a church's pastor and I read with interest. How is it we study and tease out the history and culture of the biblical times and not lose touch with what it means to be faithful? Where is God in this post-thiest world? Is there a new definition developing for the word "athiest"? Brian McLaren writes about a new Christianity and Marcus Borg invites us to let our faith mature and Bishop Spong reminds us God is far beyond a surface faith that requires deep pondering and a connection to our own spirit. All this being said I feel much like our spring weather. Kind of mixed up and a bit out of synch with the world. But like our spring weather God is in charge and I know if I trust and simply believe all will work out. My passion is people and walking with others through this faith journey. Loving my fellow human being and providing pastoral care when needed. As I preach God's love and breath in the Holy Spirit I witness the passion of Jesus Christ. Whether I think of Jesus pre-Easter and post-Easter Jesus is present with me and is the incarnation of God. Are you challenged by what it means to be faithful? If so talk with others and find out what it means to be honest with yourself and allow God to guide you where you need to go. Thanks for reading, journey with me as I get closer and closer to being ordained to word and sacrament.

...finely textured conceptualizations of the psychoanalytic process

Philip M. Bromberg says, "Health is the ability to stand in the spaces between realities without losing any of them. This is what I believe self-acceptance means and what creativity is really all about -- the capacity to feel like one self while being many."

Pretty cool statement and one that I live by. As we live in the neutral zones between what was and what will be we can look ahead and behind without attachment. That is our true selves ... the ability to do that.

I am working on a puzzle and often relate it to my life and to God. I finally got pieces together today that didn't seem to fit before. We are much like a puzzle we keep trying the same piece over and over again hoping something has changed since the last time we tried it. Sometimes it is us not putting it in right and sometimes the piece just does not fit there, but fits beautifully someplace else.

God made the picture, we cut it into pieces and together with God we have to put it back together again to feel whole...