What next??

Well the time has come where I am facing a fork in the road and must chase down the rest of my dream.  I have finished classes and am ready to graduate upon the submission of the last two papers.  Such great learning I have witnessed.  Such great turmoil within my own heart.  Challenges faced down and often swimming in murky waters trying to make sense and nail down some clarity.

That being said nailing down what the divine has in store is like trying to display Jello on the fridge with a magnet or nail it to the wall.  Challenging to say the least.  But that being said how lovely is it to just lay our trust in something greater than ourselves and listen to the whispers in the night.  One thing I have learned is none of us do that to the fullest, not even me and I have been pushed to the edge of some scary cliffs.

A poem that I recently had read to me spoke to my heart and reminds me that the divine choose me not the other way around.  I am child of the universe and can connect with all that goes before me and share in the witness of all that is behind me.  I am a Christian because I follow the work and life of Jesus, I choose life on this path.  Although this poem may not be perfectly articulated the way I would in today's context and culture the message speaks to me and keeps me afloat as I move and am molded by the one who created me:

And the Lord Said Go

the Lord said go
         and i said who me
         and He said yes you
         and i said
         but i’m not ready yet
         and an important meeting is coming up
         and i can’t leave my work right now
         and you know there is no one to take my place
         and He said you’re stalling.                                    
again the Lord said go
         and i said 
         but i don’t want to
         and He said I didn’t ask if you wanted to
         and i said listen i’m not the kind of person
         to get involved in controversy
         besides my family won’t like it
         and what will my neighbours think
         and He said baloney.
and yet a third time the Lord said go
         and i said do I have to
         and He said do you love me
         and i said
         look i’m scared
         people are going to hate me
         and cut me into little pieces
         and i can’t take it all myself
         and He said where do you think I’ll be
         and the Lord said go
         and i sighed
         here i am send me.
                                     Sister Constance
                                     Virginia Seminary Alumni Magazine

1 comment:

  1. reminds me of the song i sang as a kid at camp:

    i cannot come to the banquet,
    don't bother me now,
    i have married a wife,
    i have bought me a cow,
    i have friends and commitments
    that cost a pretty sum,
    pray hold me excused,
    i cannot come

    go! all the best in the rest of your journey (been pretty good so far)!