Thoughts to a friend:
As I struggle with this new faith journey and face what it is to be a Christian I think the biggest struggle I have is with apathy. This overwhelming sense of desire to say "who cares?", "who REALLY cares???" My sense and image of God sometimes lays in fragments on the floor around me waiting for me to put it back together.
However, that being said when I was away on my trip, the worship and spirituality professor made a comment that she couldn't duplicate. It was like a momentary thought that she tossed out and only I heard it. I asked her about it and she went back in her notes and could not recollect saying it or where it came from in her lecture.
She talked about the light of Jesus hitting a prism and being fragmented onto the wall in colourful display. That was it, one thought and one sentence. Since then I have been thinking about this and toying with it in my mind. I also have a great distinction now between the man Jesus, this man who we read about in the gospels and then the "Christ" that has fed the doctrines over the last 2000 years. So where is Jesus in this prism of light that is refracting all around me shattered into shards of light that I have to wade through? Who is the God that Jesus was calling us back to? What does this God look like? Being a Jewish man, Jesus was travelling the "way" which is the Jewish journey, he was calling us back to his roots, the root of all creation the YHWH ... the spirit of our central being.
That is the passion we seek. That is what Jesus died for, fighting the apathy of the material world and reminding us that we have to be passionate in order to feed our spirit and the spirit of the great one. Jesus was alive, angry and was missional. He is not the Christ we have created ...
He is the very essence of passion that burns within us to be shared in relationship with all of God's people. It is still in you! I know. Sit quiet and listen to the wee small voice within, nurture your pain and then release it to the passion you know burns in your heart.
May the God of hope be with you as you journey through this sea of indifference and defeat. Swim hard, and when you come up for air God will say, "there is my son with whom I am well pleased" and you will find your passion again ..... the emergent God is fighting for a place in our world.... the emergent God is in you, but is being stifled by history, apathy and melancholy ... let the emergent God sooth your soul and refresh your passion....
I need to answer my own question, "who cares?" I must care or the corruption and doctrines of this world will win!