.."give us this day our DAILY bread..."

A letter in response to a friend's email......

I have difficulty trying to articulate what I find in your email or what I sense from your words because for me I feel it is not up to me to tell you how to be faithful.  You are bright and have such great thoughts.  Maybe too great (lol) because you think very deeply and therefore lean into what it is that troubles you to try to find answers.

I am finding lately that I am trying to live simply.  Not looking too much into the future and trying not to take on things that are so big that I feel overwhelmed by the thoughts eg environmental issues and the end of the earth as we know it, because truthfully I have lived 53 years and I have some history but it is still a blip on a screen for the years that the earth has existed so who am I to worry about mother earth?  I think she can take good care of herself.  She may cut us off, spit us out and we may cease to exist for a while as humans but in the billions of years the scientists say the earth has existed why are we so arrogant to think we can save the earth? (picture at right is my bunk in Yogyakarta, Indonesia very similar to how I am living right now as I finish up my degree)

So my job is to make my time and the time of those who I care about as rewarding and good as possible.  I am only here for maybe 80years or so ... and I just need to be sure I am a good person, care for the earth as I can and share what I can about what it means to me to do so.  That is all there is for me.

I need to earn enough of a living to feed myself because my children need to tend to their future.  It is not up to me to be sure they are left with millions.  I gave them life by birthing them and they came into this world with the skin on their ass and need to cover that ass as they see fit.

I try to be happy to my own core and worry about what it is that I need to be happy.  I try to help others to be happy and content.  I can't control how they feel I can only listen and then hope they have emptied their cup enough to move on.  Sounds cynical but most people like living in misery and really don't want to be happy, being happy means they may have to relax and let go and enjoy life.  That is not what society teaches us.  Materialism means we are never satisfied .. and need to buy more "stuff" ... so we are conditioned to be discontent.

That all being said ... I struggle too with what it means to be content and find God, god, higher power... and the creator story... who am I?  who I am.. is a big question and only I can answer it.  My faith helps me do so and my faith allows me to trust that there is lessons to be learned, places to be happy, and it is worth the struggle in the long run.

Spirit is willing, flesh is weak

I have recently reconnected with a person from my past and it is an awakening of my spirit.   I have the opportunity through the lens of my friend to revisit what I believe in and what makes it authentic.  How do I see God?  What does Jesus represent to me? Where is my faith in light of doctrines and church obedience?  As I walk this journey I am steeped in governance in ministry and a course called, "Confessing Our Faith".  The "our" of this course is The United Church of Canada (UCC).  An inclusive, pluralistic and progressive organization which is reaching into the 21st century world. The UCC is a place were everyone can come to the table and sup.  Sharing in the bread and the wine is a way of sharing common roots and understanding the good news of our gospel with others who may find God in an other way.  Does it really matter how we get there as long as we better understand what it is that we are seeking?  My friend and a woman I greatly respect, Gretta Vosper, has shed a light on this thinking even while placing herself in danger.  She has relinquished the title, "God" because she wants us to understand the weight this title carries.  In the USA it is printed on their money, "In God we trust" but in what God, whose God and by what definition are we to know this trust is authentic?

My journey has only yet begun.  Although I have been on it for a long time, 50 years or so, I realize I am always at the beginning.  I cannot ever move beyond the beginning because as I realize more and more about what I believe, what I stand for, how I live my life it feels like a fresh start yet again and I walk it with wide eyed innocence.

Matthew 26:40-41 says, "Jesus returned to the disciples, he found them asleep.  He said to Peter, "couldn't you stay awake with me for even an hour?  Be on guard, and pray that you may not undergo trial.  The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."  Jesus asks us to stay awake and prepare ourselves for the world.  We never know when we will be on trial for what it is we stand for, trust and believe.  When we anchor ourselves in our beliefs and know what it is we truly believe we can then withstand what Jesus did.  That is the point of the resurrection in my heart, he stood for what he believed and it was raised up after humanity killed him for it. He stood for something so much greater than we can ever conceive, but we can stay awake and welcome the spirit that takes us on this wonderful journey and exploration. 

These pictures are ones I took while studying and exploring the island of Java.  My journey has only begun, where are you on yours?

trimming the sails...

With a full week under my belt in my new location I am reflecting on how the past fades into just that, the past.  Yesterday I was in the pulpit at St. James for the one of the last three Sundays there.  The scripture on which I was focusing is in Mark 9:30-37.  Where the disciples argue about who is the greatest.  What does it matter who is great?  We are all great in our own way and with God by our side, in our heart and helping us to focus on being great we would have a hard time losing that argument.  I feel great and I feel capable of doing great things for others.  Helping in the world and sharing the good news.  In reading for my classes I am discovering how young the United Church of Canada is in perspective.  With 2000 years of church history there has been much fighting and arguing about who is the greatest.  Today there is fighting between religions asking the same question, "who is the greatest?" and it is all a moot point.

We are all great.  Great in all we do when we keep those close to us in our vision and care for our brothers and sisters.  I have helped St. James see how great they are and how they can be greater in the community and I hope to do that again in another church.

When we see our greatness through the eyes of a child and embrace the child in everything we do then we win.  My friend was saying in his comment that we cannot control the wind but we can trim the sails.  I am trimming the sails as I listen to God's call.  As I move with the wind and let the Spirit take me I am thankful to God for my greatness and my passions. 

Fabulous Fall Planning

Even though we have had summer weather since early spring I do not believe anyone gets sick of it.  I find the heat difficult to deal with but I love the green and the beauty of the summer abundance.  That being said the changing of seasons is a part of Canada's life.  Unlike our neighbour to the south who can move around within its boundaries and change their weather experience, Canada weathers four seasons from coast to coast.  Personally, I love it!  I think it is a physical way to learn about our spiritual lives.

The changing of seasons is witnessed in our lives as well as our environment.  We have times of greater darkness and the days are not always full of sunshine.  We weather turmoil and stormy seas at times and learn to cope in the eye of a hurricane.  It is not what comes our way that strengthens us but how we deal with the challenges in our lives.

May the storms in your life be supported and may you be strengthened by love.  It is in tough times we feel the love of others and this love reminds us that God is with us as we struggle.  Feel supported as you weather life, lean on others and share these hard times. 

2 Samuel 11:26-12:13a

This week's lectionary is the followup to David having Uriah killed so he could be with Bathsheba.  Hard story to read but all in a day's work.  Last night at a video study I was awakened by the hunger of some folk to better understand the Bible and what it says.  Being deep in study for many years now I sometimes forget that the people I teach and work with are often where I was many years ago.  Hungry, eager and curious.  Where did that go for me? 

It is refreshing actually to read texts like 2 Sam. to remind myself how power can get in the way of God's work.  How we get so wrapped up in what we need, where we need to go and what day to day chores need to be done we forget to remember that God is with us asking us to care and love for our neighbour.   As Nathan weaves a tale that David is quick to condem the main character we are reminded that it takes community to hold a mirror in front of our face.  It takes community to keep us real and honest with what God wants us to accomplish and it takes community to help us accomplish it.  Building and caring for community is God's work.

My future is cloudy, simply because I am unsure of what is next in my journey.  But that being said I trust that the God I believe in will open the doors I need when I need them and it is my job to keep my eyes open, listen and be mindful of this partnership.  As God saturates me with love I will be fine. 

May you find food for your journey and community to walk along beside you.

apathy,,,, meloncholy

Thoughts to a friend:

As I struggle with this new faith journey and face what it is to be a Christian I think the biggest struggle I have is with apathy. This overwhelming sense of desire to say "who cares?", "who REALLY cares???" My sense and image of God sometimes lays in fragments on the floor around me waiting for me to put it back together.

However, that being said when I was away on my trip, the worship and spirituality professor made a comment that she couldn't duplicate. It was like a momentary thought that she tossed out and only I heard it. I asked her about it and she went back in her notes and could not recollect saying it or where it came from in her lecture.

She talked about the light of Jesus hitting a prism and being fragmented onto the wall in colourful display. That was it, one thought and one sentence. Since then I have been thinking about this and toying with it in my mind. I also have a great distinction now between the man Jesus, this man who we read about in the gospels and then the "Christ" that has fed the doctrines over the last 2000 years. So where is Jesus in this prism of light that is refracting all around me shattered into shards of light that I have to wade through? Who is the God that Jesus was calling us back to? What does this God look like? Being a Jewish man, Jesus was travelling the "way" which is the Jewish journey, he was calling us back to his roots, the root of all creation the YHWH ... the spirit of our central being.

That is the passion we seek. That is what Jesus died for, fighting the apathy of the material world and reminding us that we have to be passionate in order to feed our spirit and the spirit of the great one. Jesus was alive, angry and was missional. He is not the Christ we have created ...

He is the very essence of passion that burns within us to be shared in relationship with all of God's people. It is still in you! I know. Sit quiet and listen to the wee small voice within, nurture your pain and then release it to the passion you know burns in your heart.

May the God of hope be with you as you journey through this sea of indifference and defeat. Swim hard, and when you come up for air God will say, "there is my son with whom I am well pleased" and you will find your passion again ..... the emergent God is fighting for a place in our world.... the emergent God is in you, but is being stifled by history, apathy and melancholy ... let the emergent God sooth your soul and refresh your passion....

I need to answer my own question, "who cares?" I must care or the corruption and doctrines of this world will win!

... and rest clears the mind...

Thankfully it has cooled off!  My apartment is only 76 right now and it is 5AM.  Feels refreshing!  The dawn is about to break and I can hear the birds beginning to chirp.  The first light of the day is playing peek-a-boo on the horizon.  Kenny Chesney is softly singing from the old radio that my mom used to stand at the kitchen counter, looking out the kitchen window, and listen to the funeral announcements.  The wheat is ripening, farmers are resting and I am teasing a message from my heart for the eager Sunday morning ears.  Can it get any better than that?

Where is your staircase leading you?
The scripture I am working with today is Ezekiel 2:1-5 and Mark 6:1-13 where there is a common thread of human frailty within certain context. Ezekiel has been called by God to do the job that most are called to do. Care for others and watch over humanity. In biblical terms he is called a 'prophet' calling out to those who have rebelled and turned away from the God of Israel. God is telling Eze to go and take a stand. God reminds Eze that the people are "impudent and stubborn" (vs4). Funny the people of 6th century BCE sound much like us today. Then in Mark, Jesus has returned to his hometown and begins to teach. Those who are listening are a little leery. The bible says they were "astounded". I wonder if that is what Justin Beiber witnesses when he returns to Stratford? His mom likely still chastises him for leaving his cereal bowl on the counter.

Well Jesus comes into this context and attempts to share with them what he has learned and what he knows about God. Ezekiel begins his journey trying to help people understand that the God of Israel is for real. Both on a journey that feels like a mammoth task. Has anything changed today? As students of Jesus we look out into a world that is consumed with materialism, greed, poverty and a numbness that has taken over the young people.  Where is it leading us?  With worship and spirituality being contained into one hour on a Sunday morning for a very select few how do we stand on the soapbox and tell those who have been pawns in a consumerist world to wake up and realize their very soul is being raped by their behaviour?

We do it by being Christian.  We follow Jesus and continue to share the good news that God is alive and well in our heart and that should we become present to the spirit we will feel a renewed breath of life.  While I was away in Jogja, I realized and separated Jesus from Christ.  The man Jesus stood for much  more than the Christian faith gives him credit for.  Like Ezekiel before him Jesus was called to God to save the people from themselves and in the wake Roman execution Jesus somehow morphed into this superhero.  A superhero who was predestined and predetermined to the death he endured. 

So I ask you what does it mean for you to be a Christian?  Are you tied to doctrines and predestination or are you a Jesus follower and an Ezekiel that God can nudge, from the inside out, to "stand up on your feet and hear what God has to say to you" (vs1)?  God is real, but real in the sense that God is within the fibre of our being as the creator of all life and through the Spirit we are called to live and breath.  Life is about action and challenging others to step up when they see injustice and step out of the luxuries that numb us into a sense of security. 

Separate Jesus from Christ and come to the hometown of Nazareth, go out two by two and help to cleanse the world of social poisons, free yourself from the material overkill and feel the freedom that can be in your heart.  As the sun comes up over the horizon it will rise afresh as you see the world through a new lens.