...finely textured conceptualizations of the psychoanalytic process

Philip M. Bromberg says, "Health is the ability to stand in the spaces between realities without losing any of them. This is what I believe self-acceptance means and what creativity is really all about -- the capacity to feel like one self while being many."

Pretty cool statement and one that I live by. As we live in the neutral zones between what was and what will be we can look ahead and behind without attachment. That is our true selves ... the ability to do that.

I am working on a puzzle and often relate it to my life and to God. I finally got pieces together today that didn't seem to fit before. We are much like a puzzle we keep trying the same piece over and over again hoping something has changed since the last time we tried it. Sometimes it is us not putting it in right and sometimes the piece just does not fit there, but fits beautifully someplace else.

God made the picture, we cut it into pieces and together with God we have to put it back together again to feel whole...

Needs verses Wants...

This picture was posted a couple of times on the networking site that I frequent and I wanted to share it in light of my mounting frustration with Christmas. This picture says it all and I feel as we watch the occupy movement as it makes the point of rich verses poor, we can maybe think about our own households and what does it mean to be poor? Poor in money, poor in things, poor in spirit? Many people have lots and lots of money and are poor in many other ways. Many people are poor financially but barely notice because they have their eyes focused clearly on the cross and how Jesus can enrich one's life. Lessons Jesus taught and the fight Jesus put up in the first century of the common era are no different than the lessons we can learn today.

Take a look at this picture and remember what it is important in your life. Stop, look and listen to those around you in your own culture and your own context. Make this Christmas the year that you really find the true meaning of Christmas in your household.

Merry Christmas

Where is Jesus in Christmas?

As another Christmas season gets closer and closer, I am once again angered and frustrated at the plethora of emails and the disgruntled mutters about taking Christ out of Christmas. As I watch these people tie up their homes in lights and bows and weigh down the Christmas tree with hundreds of dollars worth of presents and they wonder when Christ went out of Christmas.

The humble story of the birth of Jesus is written in Matthew and Luke, two of the synoptic gospels. Mark, the earliest of the Gospels, has nothing about the birth of Jesus. Interesting... The observation of Jesus’s birth did not begin until long after his death: it was when the writers realized who Jesus was that they pondered His birth narrative. The birth observance is in light of His death.

I find myself pulling further and further away from "Christmas" because of the consumerism and the expectations of those who call themselves Christians. They piggyback on the holiday in order to have extended and paid time off work, and use it as an excuse to buy gifts and support the corporate structure that the rightful target of, among others, the occupy movement.

So what to do? Often when I tell people that my family and I opted years ago not to "do" Christmas they look at me as if I have just told them I ran over the Easter Bunny with my bicycle and sent him rolling into a ditch! They cannot fathom how one does not "do" Christmas. I tell them how I took the pressure off my children years ago. When they were young teens by not telling them, "Oh honey, I don't need a present, but here is a $300 whatever for you!" I told them instead that, by not buying them gifts at Christmas, we had -- and still have -- family time and we have family time and celebrate Christmas all year, because we believe in Christ all year. Not just in the bustle and bows of December.

During the holidays, I gather with extended family and we have meals together, visit and share in gifts for the little ones (who are too young to understand the difference). I hug my brother and my sister-in-law, I call my sister and wish her a safe trip as they migrate south for the winter, and I look at the bare apple trees in my brother's orchard and stand in awe at the presence of God's creation and love that was in the first garden. I "do" Christmas all the time. I "do" Christmas by rebelling against the commerce of Christmas, and spend Christmas day with a turkey which I prepare for those who are "alone" for Christmas, and who join us for dinner at church. There are no gifts; just the love of God and the lessons and teachings of Jesus Christ, whose birthday we celebrate on December 25, a day which was once a pagan ritual day and co-opted by the Christian faith. I remember and share the grace of the One who saves us, the love of God and the communion of the Holy Spirit without throwing money at a gift-buying whirlpool.

So it matters little to me if Walmart says “Merry Christmas,” because Christmas is a state of mind and heart. Instead, all year long I say "As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلامعليكم)" to my Islamic friends as I greet them, and I will say it to you. Peace be upon you! And may God bless your journey!

Islam, Jewish and Christian Faiths

It is that time of year when emails fly around about taking Christ out of Christmas and prayer in schools. I recently received an email asking me to vote "no" for a poll that no longer exists. The media has moved on to something else contraversial but the fallout is still hanging around. Here is my response:

Thanks for this email. I researched and researched and cannot find a poll to vote, so CTV is on to something else to rile people up. I believe it was a limited question that was posted to the CTV website and is now gone. There is very hot debate over this question (should schools provide a space for Muslims to pray?). I do believe it stands that Islam is not going to be taught they are strictly looking to provide space for the children to pray so they do not have to leave the school grounds. (Do you think if we provided chapels in public schools Christian children would be there 5 times a day? Few Christians pray in their homes let alone children doing it on their own at school) A devout Muslim prays five times a day, silently under their own volition. The Christian prayer removed from school was in respect of all faith traditions, not strictly Islam. At Emmanual College, the seminary where I am attending, there has been provided a small room for the Muslim student to pray. The chapel is available to all people as is this small space with a door for privacy. Emmanual College is offering a stream of study devoted to better understanding our Muslim Brothers and Sisters and I am in classes with Muslim students most days.

My concern here is the "we/they" attitudes. It is frightening when there is this distinction. We are Christian, you and I, but Canada is a pluralistic society made up of immigrants from all over the world. Many who follow Islam have been in Canada for generations so when are they allowed to become "Canadian"? Canada's original immigrant population was Euro-centric settlers who practiced Christianity so it appears Canada is a Christian nation. The missionaries did what they did to the Native people in order to force Christianity on the Native people. The time is coming where Christianity cannot bully its way into the hearts of people.

You and I will continue to say Merry Christmas and pray. We will continue to believe that Jesus is the revelation of God as the Messiah and the way, the truth, and the life. But as I study and work and pray with my brothers and sisters who are of the Jewish faith and Islamic faith I do so with reverance in my heart. We are all followers of the same God, we are all stemming from Abraham, and we all have faith that the world will one day be united.

Canada is a country of immigrants, historically and now. There are fanatical Christians (Waco Texas, the man who wanted to burn the Qu'ran, and the Jamestown suicide masacre) and there are fanatical Muslims (World Trade Centre). Try not to let the hatred of humankind taint your Christian heart. Jesus is the centre of Christianity as the revelation of God, a God who is central to other faiths. Islam honours Jesus and speaks of him with love. The Jewish faith honours him as well.

Solid faithful people can live together and find God together. Shout your prayers from the roof-tops, be a Christian with purpose and do so with the love of Christ in your heart. Pray as you want to and if you can get young people to pray then you are doing a good thing. If we put our efforts forward in love, emails like this would not be necessary. They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love, they will know we are Christians by our love.

Countdown to Advent

It has been a while since I wrote anything and I think that is because I have been in somewhat of a chaotic state myself, so in that chaos we find God and journey on. I have decided to finish my theology degree at Emmanuel College in Toronto, a different college of the Toronto School of Theology. The move from Knox was prompted as I withdrew from the discernment process in the summer.

This chaos I am facing stems from a denominational understanding of what it means to be "church"? Living the Questions, a DVD study, which is an introduction to Progressive Christianity, is on my desk at this moment beckoning to be listened to. Where is God in our lives today? How do we understand scripture? What does sola scriptura mean? Can we take the bible seriously, but not literally as prompted by Marcus Borg?

As we count down the weeks to Christmas the emails begin flying around that Christ is being removed from Christmas. I believe Christians removed Jesus a long time ago, and in that our souls are lost and wandering. "Teach me God to wonder" is a hymn we sang last week in church, I asked the congregation if we could also ask "teach me, God, to wander" as in wandering and wondering we learn.

Does prayer work?

What does it mean to pray? Why do we pray? Do you pray the same way today as you did as a child? What form of prayer invites you to listen instead of talking?

I have people in my life who are ill. I have people in my life who are grieving a death. I have people in my life who are happy. I have people in my life that haven't got a clue. So where does prayer come in?

Is it saying one does not trust God if one realizes that God really doesn't answer prayer?You ask here whether people mean prayers? When people pray, I believe they mean prayer as they are able to or in the capacity to which they see God. They pray with a wish list and if it isn't fulfilled then they look at it that someone "deserved" it. This archaic way of looking at God stops people from really feeling the depth and the breath of God. Like a child on December 1st making the Santa wish list. All through the month they are told, "be good or Santa won't bring you what you want."

In the book I am reading, Praying in the Messiness of Life by Linda Douty, where I found the prayer by Garnass-Holmes, {previous post}, Douty says, "Maybe to say prayer works really means that we trust God to be with us in a profound and sustaining way, regardless of how things turn out..... prayer is more about [the] relationship than results." But that is Douty... most people will say they pray looking for God to do something. But when they do not trust God's presence in their life and do not see the authentic presence of God these prayers can sound empty.

Here I am preaching this and not following God's presence myself ... showing my humanness of anger, frustration and arrogance in order to hide my hurt and fear. But I take great comfort in the fact that I come around. Most people don't ... they live this fairy tale existence, trying to believe something that is impossible to understand and believe, instead of getting to the ultimate truth; as opposed to teenage truth as per Marcus Borg, truth as that wich is factual.

It is scary for people when they face down that the God they are praying to really has little control over the future ... that life is what it is. That is not cynicism, it is great faith in its essence and a true understanding of God's plan. I was chatting with someone who made the comment I am usually in the right place at the right time.... I corrected her and said no, that I simply trust that there is an ultimate plan and when we choose not to fight and manipulate our lives but let life happen then it works. I told her not that I think there is someone in "up there" playing chess and we are the pawns but that there is a pattern and cosmic life's journey that we have to trust.

Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore!!

Where is God?

This is usually the question of a child as they ponder the greater picture. So where is it that we grow into a point to which we think we really know where God is? At what point in our lives can we finally say, "I have it all together..." I think never. Truthfully, those who think they have it all together are in for a great shock. Most recently I have been introduced via the community events page of the local paper to a man by the name of John Bevere through a video series being offered at a local church called "Driven by Eternity". So I did some research and checked him out. He scares me, really he does. He scares me that there are people who actually follow his lead and attempt to learn from his teachings. Is this God? Does John Bevere have it figured out? I hope not, but in absolute truth, I really can't dispute if he does or doesn't because I do not have the answers about eternity and I don't know anyone else who does either.

I have a friend who is struggling with some health issues. I think of him and his family every single day. That is their reality. Are they concerned with eternity? I don't know but I think they just want to get through today, here on earth. I also have lots of questions ... things that I ponder about this afternoon, tomorrow, next week, the fall. I tend to think about life on earth and how God is present in my life here and now. Eternity seems so far away and when I don't know what is beyond I think I will leave it up to God. To quote my good friend Gord, "Our message {as pastors} should be focused on this world, what happens after that we leave in better hands than ours." By focussing on this world in a healthy and prayerful way God will be present and we need not worry for our eternity.

Let me share some affirming words:

As you sit in prayer
and try to remain mindful of God,
failing because your thoughts wander,
remember this:
that God is perfectly mindful of you always,
attentive to your being and your doing,
never straying from your heart,
not missing a single breath,
or forgetting a single heartbeat.
God is never distracted, never forgets.
Without neglecting anything else in Creation,
for all of Creation is present in God,
God is fully present to you,
seeing not from afar but from within
your journeys, thoughts and feelings,
holding tenderly your sins and wounds,
delighting in your gifts and beauties,
fully aware of what you yourself
only dimly suspect deep within you.
God is in all that you see, and in your seeing,
in what you hear, and in your hearing,
in your wondering, in your sorrow, in your awe,
God is grateful for you, and delights in you.
God longs in you, grieves in you, exults in you.
God gives full, peaceful, loving attention to you
all your day and all through the night,
not controlling or manipulating,
just beholding, blessing, loving
and breathing life into you,
powerful, joyful, beautiful, infinite life,
granting you mindfulness
and mindful always of you.
........written by Steve Garnaas-Holmes

Have a wonderful day and may you find peace and hope in your prayer life.