As I peruse facebook and read the posts I look for things that stir in me a new thought or desire. Today somewhere in my visual travels through words, posts and pictures I was brought back to a verse in the bible. Full disclosure, is I have studied the bible in depth as I am a lapsed seminarian; one who studied in seminary. I graduated with a degree called masters of divinity and stood to be ordained in the Christian church. It did not happen. Why? Because "god" had better plans and I, although fighting and screaming, had to respect that. How do I define "god"? ... that is a good question for anyone and respect for this question is top on my priority list.
Today, I understand my own journey so much better. Upon graduation and rejection by the Christian church process, I looked down the road through a deep depression and, while in a haze of alcohol, wondered about my purpose and meaning of my life. I faced down the journey and wondered "what now?" and began again. I turned away from the church and slowly struck out to find out what it is I am to be doing and I have found that and so much more. Change is not easy, it cannot be easy or we would not learn from it. The key? Change is possible, never easy.
The verse Romans 8:33 "Who will bring a charge against God's chosen ones? Since God is the one who justifies, who has the power to condemn?" With my own travels and journey scripture has taken on new meaning as wisdom literature and I respect it in a whole new way. As I read it, I have come to a point where I can see beyond my own baggage of the ancient Christian doctrine that was developed to keep the masses in check and to paint "god" as a judgemental and punishing force. I have deeply connected with the energy that turns the earth, keeps the stars in the sky and produces a tomato from a seed. I believe firmly that I am a chosen one because, based on the mysterious understanding of far more than I can understand, I know I choose to be here, present and positive. I choose to have a faith in love and kindness. With this understanding and choice there can be no charge against me and I live in a peaceful way. I feel no condemnation because I see the world in a way that allows for a humble spirit and know that human frailty causes great pain and poor choices. I cannot be condemned unless I condemn myself ... that is the hard work, choosing to love the self.
#breakingstibah is my way of teaching what I have found to be true. Bringing others to their own realization and laying out a path of firm ground for anyone to walk and find themselves. #breakingstibah is a means to an end. A route .... it is a community building exercise ....
I have come so far ... and it is so exciting and life giving.