Hungry for something...

I am so hungry for something I cannot seem to find to feed me.  It is a place of spiritual resting where the presence of love and peace allows for the fulfilment of my dreams to seed into my soul. A weekly or monthly place to rest and listen.  My races help with this journey and empty my cup of past practices and allow for the filling of new and white light and energy. Well ... the day is done!  The Sprint is now checked off on my bucket list.  A Sprint is a 750 m. swim, 30 km. bike ride, and a 7 km. run.  It was a brutal wind today and we woke up to 4 degrees.  Headed to Guelph by 6 AM with little Owen packed in with the bikes!  He didn't mind, he goo'd and ga'd all the way to Caledon when we stopped and fed him! He is a trooper.

This was a hard race for me!  It was hard work, simply said.  I did finish however my lack of commitment to training showed in a big way.  It took me 3 hours and one minute to complete.    It was the first triathlon swim I have done because the two shorter tri-a-tri races I was in the swim was cancelled.  Once because of lightening and the second time because of bacteria levels in the water. Today, this hefty swim of 750 m. was my first.  I did the swim in 22 minutes.  Coming out of the water with no glasses on and having just worked your way through 17 degree water with other swimmers around you, it feels a little disorienting.

At this particular venue, you then run uphill to the transition zone.  It is challenging to say the least. Family will know this term, Raynaud's (ray-NOHZ) disease causes some areas of your body — such as your fingers and toes — to feel numb and cold in response to cold temperatures or stress. In Raynaud's disease, smaller arteries that supply blood to your skin narrow, limiting blood circulation to affected areas (vasospasm).  I suffer from this so at this point, my feet were like little stumps!  So I took the time at the transition zone, massaged them before I put my socks on to continue and changed into riding gear over my wet bathing suit.

The bike ride was so beautiful and the day was lovely.  Even in the challenge of biking against a strong wind I kept taking the time to marvel at the beauty around me. However, the wind was fierce and I found even down hill I was peddling like a duck trying to swim up Niagara Falls!  I never got out of the easiest gear sequence for the whole 30 kms.  I walked a couple of hills to conserve my strength.  My old Raleigh is truly not meant for this kind of riding!  It took me 1 hr and 35 minutes to complete and I got a police escort at the turnaround!  Pays to be last of the hardworking racers.  I found myself meditating in the moment and simply thinking about one step at a time.  Listening to Pema Chodrun and simply staying in the moment.  Thinking not about if I was tired from the swim and thinking not that after this hard physical journey I would then need to strike out on foot for a further 7 kms.  Spiritually I was strong and in the moment listening for messages while exhausting the physical energy out of the way to let the spirit come through.  It was invigorating.

The run was awesome!  7 kms through the park.  I loved every minute.  I was tired however optimistic as each time I passed the base/transition there was my daughter, Danielle and my wee Owen, cheering me on!  The run took me 55 minutes.

It was a great day and the first of many as now I have the job of getting stronger, faster and better! How about you?  Did you do something today that will make you stronger, faster and better?

Gifts of life ...

Working with aging adults is truly one of the best jobs in the world.
Just this week, this writer had the blessing of bathing beautiful women, well into their 80's (maybe 90's). It is such an intimate time for a care giver to bath a grown person, soaping up the cloth, holding the shower head just right, weighing in on how much help to offer all while preserving dignity and self-pride. Honestly, stand in your underwear in a bathroom, and imagine a person, who is not your family, tucking fingers into the top of your underwear and dropping them to the floor, causing, without fail this caregiver's face to be level with all that is the most private part of your body.
Just this week, I sat at the bedside and spoon fed a woman whose breast is leaking fluid and the brain tumour confuses her words. Her blue eyes sparkle when you tell her "dinner is spicy tonight".
Just this week, I helped a woman to the bathroom while trying not to drop the stroke monitor hanging around her neck into the toilet. As she told me, "I am not in pain anywhere, I just can't get the words out." So she counts the words on her fingers as she says them.
Just this week, I watched a woman tear up as she told me the story of being separated from her son because he is mad at her for something that happened years ago. He cannot get past it. She cries for her boy.
Just this week, I watched a man who has been told yet again, "you will never walk again", and so has made it his mission to prove them wrong and, just today, I watched him stand at his wheelchair and transfer himself to another chair.
Just this week, I had a man ask to see his brother, to say goodbye, before the ambulance took him away because he knew he was done and dying. His wife wanted to take his razor to the hospital. He said, "don't worry about it. Lock the door and come back after its all over." He hugged me, we prayed together and he left for the hospital. He died three hours later.
Imagine, laying in bed and having a person come in and pull back the covers open the brief where you have been forced to let go of your waste and watch from the bed, flat on your back while this person turns you to get into the intimate parts of your body, to ensure you are clean and washed all while discussing the weather or the storyline of Dr. Phil! It is rarely talked about because it is one of the hardest things for any person to do. Be dependent on another for care.
This week I personally engaged with over 200 aging adults from all walks of life. This is a normal week for me! All stories, all challenges, all spiritual engagements welcome.
As I say it is the best job in the world. I say this because this work creates a bond between two people. A bond of trust and compassion, and when done well, is enriching for both people involved. Sharing life's realities and the grief and bereavement aging adults suffer through becomes the work of the front-line caregiver.
As sure as the sun rises in the east, next week will be more of the same. Daily miracles and blessings ...

Hidden Beauty

How often have you driven from one place to another and when you arrive you have little recollection of the drive?  This happens so often because we fail to be present to the moment.  Hidden treasures are all around us.  Energy which is there and slips through our fingers, literally.  Beauty beyond that which we see.

Recently, I watched the movie "Collateral Beauty" and the focus of the title is buried in the movie only to be recognized when the movie concludes.  The premise is how there is collateral beauty buried in the pain and intensity of life.  Life's journey is not always easy and spiritual growth is found in finding beauty as we suffer grief.  Learning about self comes from the breakdown of the ego.  So many lessons and sometimes hard to see.

I take all my own photos so I can use them freely and never be worried about copyright or infringing on another's work.  Recently I was on a walk with a 90 year old woman and we were loving the flowers in her neighbourhood.  My favourite pictures are closeup's of flowers.  I took this picture of a beautiful bush all in her glory.  Today I used the photo ... As I was posting it I saw the beauty I had captured.  I saw the deep love of the divine there in the photo reminding me there is life around me all the time, if I simply stop look and see.   This beautiful creature is working away on my behalf and I captured the work being done.

As a child, parents always had the talk about "the birds and the bees" and I honestly do not know how this became linked with where babies come from and sex.  All I know is when I talk with my grandchildren I am going to tell them about the birds and the bees, and my story will be about finding the collateral beauty or the hidden beauty in our lives.

Blessings and love on this Sunday!  Come together, Come together in spirit and in song; the song of the buzzing bee!

Triathlon Completed! What's Next?

This aging adult is looking for challenges in life and does not fear to go where others are scared to turn.  I do this so I can walk into the darkness of change and return to guide others to challenge themselves.  In working with aging adults, I now regularly work with 90+ year old people.  Often they are smart and well versed and seeking community to keep active.  The FitMinds program sites one of the five areas for a healthy lifestyle as being "socialization".   This first critical area to a healthy lifestyle reminds a person to remain integrated in the community and to build a growing network of family and friends.  "Social Capital" is as important to a healthy lifestyle as is capital in real estate or investments.  This capital investment in your life brings about abundance as it grows and matures.

At the race yesterday we were threatened by a passing storm.  It was a time of community where anxious runners were waiting, feeling cold and wet, to get started.  The clouds hovered and threatened to chase people away and some caved into the threat.  Others moved together, in community, under a tree to ward off some of the pelting rain only to find warmth and friendship in each other.  I met two lovely women who we connected immediately. I am sad I did not have a pen and paper to get contact information.  That being said these women reminded me how valuable community and togetherness can be.

I was one of 24 participants in the 50 - 59 age group.  I came in 8th in my age group in just under an hour.  Fifty-nine minutes of challenging my body to perform and push it to the limit.  Fifty-nine minutes talking to myself, coaching and reminding myself that race day is the reward and not the prize.  It is a measurement of hard work and stamina.

So I did it!  A 2.5 km run then a 10 km bike ride followed by a second 2.5 km run.  There was to be a swim, however the threat of lightening caused this to be cancelled and replaced with the first run. Anything can happen on race day, just like anything can happen in life.

Barbara Brown Taylor's book, Learning to Walk in the Dark, is a good read for those seeking to venture into the unknown and move with stealth and finesse.  This book is one I return to often to remind myself to keep going, stay the course and know the final reward is a long and healthy life.

This aging adult fears not to look for challenges and will go where you fear to go.  I can walk with you if  you like and will come to your aid in the darkness.  Grief over life's losses begin with going into the dark and feeling that which is so important.  One must enter the fire and be challenged to come out stronger.

61 Isaiah Street, is a place where I live.  A place where the divine energy comes upon me and anoints me with love, heals my broken heart, liberates the prisoner in me, comforts me as I mourn, and gives me the oil of gladness along side of my tears.  For as the earth brings forth its shoots, and a garden brings its seeds to blossom, this divine energy brings shoots of hope and eternal understanding of goodness.

Be strong, come live with me at 61 Isaiah Street, won't you?

Little green sprout ....

A message from 11 Isaiah Street - Then a shoot will sprout from the stump, and from the deep roots, a branch will blossom.   The spirit of the divine will rest on you, a spirit of wisdom and understanding, a sprit of counsel and strength, a spirit of knowledge and reverence for the source energy.

Today  I was training for the triathlon coming in two weeks and the day was grand for this work.  I was huffing and puffing after a 12.5 km ride on my bike and then was doing a 4 km wun (my term for combining walking and running).

I am in the country where the fields are a checker board of process. One particular field was turned over so neatly and layed flat, home for birds to pick at worms or upturned bugs.  I thought how beautiful this dirt field is.  As I looked closer it came to my attention it is not just a dirt field.  It is the vision of potential.  It represents all that is good in the world.

It represents the earth from which shoots of life come each year over and over again as the season turns. With closer inspection I could see there were small shoots of green coming from this field.

This field holds the capacity to produce more than its weight in goodness and profit.  Profit not in dollars, but in pride and food and worldly connection.  I had to stop there and be thankful for this day.

The rest of the wun was so beautiful and I honestly did not want it to end.  It is a perfect day and I am created in a perfect image where I can choose to believe in abundance and prosperity even in the face of what appears to be defeat.

As I hopped on the bike to ride the 12.5 kms back to my home it is with thanks I am taking this journey.  May Blessings abound in your life.

Caring for $400 Alex: Aging Adult Care with passion, dignity, respect

What is the care Cynthia Breadner provides?


How can a person often feel defeated, infuriated and frustrated and yet be amazed at the same time every day?  In this industry of caring for aging adults I see much that I wish to change or work with and I do the best I can every day.   The system is not good ... Let me tell you why.

I would like to ask people this question:  Would you ever leave your 2 year old sleeping the crib and go to work and hope the babysitter shows up at some point?  Would you leave your 6 month old sitting in their car seat, in the living room, and head to a party without having the caregiver there before you go?  I think most of you are shaking your heads, however later stages life is no different than the early stages of life.  Sitting with a person to care for them is the job, regardless of age.

Just because aging adults have witnessed life and have walked and talked and lived to the fullest (or not), today, if they cannot get out of bed, bathe themselves, get a meal or walk to the corner store they deserve the same care and attention as the babes in your life.  The aging adult in your life deserves respect and adult handling, however they deserve safety and solid caregiving just as much.  I cannot believe how often I am in private care with an aging adult and they get phone call, "sorry your worker will not be coming today and we can't find anyone else to come."  The two year old will spend the day in the crib.  Why does it seem acceptable to let down the client in the home waiting for care when the provincial government prides itself on an "aging at home" strategy?  I wonder if it is because they know with the poor system a person ages simply waiting for the strategy care promised.

Our government system is failing badly and will only get worse over time.  It is a broken system which will be more challenged as the aging population makes demands and pushes its way through the next 25 years.  As I work with feet in both camps and see harried workers pushed to the breaking point and aging adults who feel like a "bother" and a strain on a younger person's life I am more and more passionate about every person I meet.

Dignity is required for ALL ... Black lives matter, children need care, marriages require attention, pets should be loved and aging adults need good caregiving!  Simple.

The amazing part of my work is the many wonderful stories I read and hear of people taking charge in their later years.  This one particularly made me smile today.  When did death become something to fear so badly you would trade your last years for misery and pain when you could choose to do this:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/91-year-old-inspired-thousands-skipping-chemotherapy-to-go-on-end-of-life-road-trip-dies-a7345951.html

https://www.facebook.com/DrivingMissNorma/

Picture from the "Driving Miss Norma" fB page

Passionate giving of care ...

Yesterday I was with two clients. One is home and requires support to stay there the other in formal LTC. As I work with aging adults every day I witness something that breaks my heart. Yesterday was no exception. Caring in the home is an initiative that our government (Ontario MoH aging in place strategy, see below) launched many years ago. It is good on paper and desired by most, if not all aging adults. However, in practice it feels very different. I am part of that "aging in place" strategy, via private home care option. There is so much truth in "you get what you pay for".

Particularly though yesterday I was in a LTC home one-on-one with a woman providing cognitive stimulation as she has advancing dementia. My role is to encourage her to use her thinking skills and analytical abilities to do simple tasks, therefore exercising the brain. I was sitting with her in conversation and another woman in a wheelchair, within earshot, asked me if there was an orange on the snack cart. I replied in the affirmative. She asked if she could have it. I got up and got it for her and asked if she needed assistance peeling it. She replied, no that she could do it. I handed her the orange and a napkin. When she was finished I asked if I could assist her in disposing of the peel. She was gathering it up. I suggested I hold the trash can and she could gather and put it in herself. She was so pleased. Sounds simple doesn't it?

It was simple. What was simple was I allowed her to do for herself what she was able to do without taking away anything. I waited patiently while her gnarled arthritic hands picked up peel, and orange sections sucked dry of all juice, and put it in the trash. I stayed silent and when finished I said, "Was it good?" and she smiled a toothless grin and said, "so good!"

When I sat back down she turned to me and my client and said, "you are so kind. I just knew by the way you were talking that you are kind and caring. We need more people like you." This goes hand in hand with my workplace where every client prefaces a simple request with "I know you are so busy, but could you please ....".

When did we get so busy that caring becomes a burden to the one needing care? When did our "jobs" impose this horrible feeling upon the very person who pays for the 8X10 room that provides me with a job? Why do employers put caregivers in such a position to be so overburdened with work that we impose this busyness and this overwork onto the most vulnerable sector? My last question is when did human caregivers get so overwhelmed to impose woes upon those who are only able to ruminate these sad tales over and over again after we have left the room? This is where I differ and it is not a given it is work to check myself every day and question myself in order to keep my story to myself and make my client the most important person of the moment.

Caregiving is an art and a practice. I requires skills like no other profession outside of the health industry. Private home care is a good option, take advantage of it for your loved one. Contact me for more information or to learn more. See the beauty before you and in the background. Care is doing both!

Google search:

Once home is no longer an option... "seniors have to go through a lengthy process with one of the 6,220 employees of Ontario's 14 Community Care Access Centres (CCAC) to qualify for a place in a public long-term facility, then join a lengthy waiting list." 2014 http://www.mississauga.com/news-story/4634290-ontario-looks-for-alternate-care-options-for-aging-seniors-damerla-says/