en + theos. Two little Greek words. Put ‘em together and you’ve got enthusiasm—or "God within"—the secret sauce to authentic awesomeness.
Can we find the divine within ourselves? Can we look inward and not outward for that which we may call "god"? When we do not like ourselves very much how can we look within for the very depth of spirit that we seek to save us? I don't know.
Family day weekend a time when family is promoted and family is the focus. Did you spend time with your family or are you one of the many that struggle with this concept? I saw both my children and love them both deeply. They are both adults now with their own lives and good news. Family day has brought for my family a wonderful announcement and hope for the future. For me though I struggle trying to find something, anything that feels hopeful in my own life. I grieve something and have a great sense of loss but cannot seem to put my finger on it. Do you ever feel that way? A darkness that is so imposing and yet like the proverbial monster in the closet or under the bed the sensation is palatable but the monster is not tangible. One cannot put a finger to it, other than to know it is there haunting you every single day.
The grief workshops I manage and run teach me I am not alone. They teach me how to look into the eyes of another and see their pain, fear and struggle. Together in a group setting we share our most darkest moments and honour that which is scaring us. The fear of being alone and finding no one really cares. The recent announcement of a colony on Mars, a one way ticket for colonization on a planet that is so far away you can be assured you will not return to earth. You sacrifice your existence here on earth for this mission and yet the supreme court is the decision maker for those suffering and struggling with illness are requesting the same thing; a one way ticket out of here.
How do you deal with the desire for a one way ticket anywhere? How do you find en*theos? I don't know ... all I know is I am not alone in this quest and seek others to walk this lonely road with me. Join me through a workshop, through email correspondence or a message on Facebook. You are not alone and neither am I ... Family Day shows me that physically but emotionally I still struggle.
I just do not give up ... that is my one way ticket ... a ticket on the "keep trying" locomotive.