Deepest darkness and its merits...

This is so true and especially poignant when the knowing what Robin says comes from within the self, hearing his truth.  Whether his smile was fake or real he struggled and so do I and many others I know.  The tough part is to say it out loud and to own it.  Some say "fake it till you make it" others say "believe it to achieve it" but I say, "until you honour it, face it and work with it" nothing else real can happen.  Take those moments of depression and bouts of melancholy and look them square in the eye.  Nurture the real feelings of them and shed light into those dark spots.  Authenticate the feelings so you can begin to peel back the layers of avoidance and live your own authentic reality.  I AM who I AM ... the burning desire that never is consumed ... the fire that never goes out.  Some days positive and some days not.. the truth is in identifying which you are dealing with today and wear it proudly!

I struggle every day with a reason to continue.  I love my life, my children,  my grandchildren and my passion is to help others but the depths of my own personal journey has shattered my reasons to believe in anything.  So each day I search anew for a shoot of life and something I can grasp to keep myself going.  I own this.  I realize it is within me to feel this way and believing otherwise is the lie. Believing it will go away with enough positive thinking or that it is simply a bad day that will be better tomorrow is also nonsense.  I face it as a reality of  my life.

I look and I find reasons.  I take the time to hear my sorrowful heart and nurture it where it is at. Addictions are not a cure, I know that for a fact, nor do they make it go away.  It simply is what it is.

I AM that I AM and I momentarily watch over this I AM-ness ... a level of consciousness that is necessary in order to keep going.  You can keep going too.  You can do this too.  You can invite yourself to partner with that which is your worst enemy and feel good.  Remember the old saying, "keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer".  Bring this demon/enemy to bed with you and love it away.

Your shoot will come each day and that is all you need to worry about today.... is today!  
Blessings and love from my brokenness to yours 

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