This morning in the wee dark hours, as usual I layed awake in my bed with the red numbers of the clock staring at me from my dresser top. 5:15 AM. The vertical blinds, while drawn, hung quietly, soundlessley covering the window and I could feel the pillow under my head and it was warm. So I flipped it over and felt the coolness of the other side. I reached out into the darkness and wrapped my hand around the tall glass from the night stand, bringing it to my lips and drank from it. Water, cool and refreshing, slid down my throat. It had been an uneventful night, thankfully, one free from hot flashes, nightmares or noises from the street. A restful night which is, for me, rare in these days of uncertainty. Maybe this is a symbol of what is yet to come....
In the wood pile there were pieces of wood that I wondered what I would do with. Pieces that I know will not fit into the stove because they are gnarly, gangling, and cumbersome. Pieces I wonder what I will do with so I leave them behind in the shed. These are symbols of choice.
What is in store for the future? What is it I am called to do in this world that will make a difference? What symbols should I be looking for that are the signs of hope for the future? Where do I turn when there is a sense of hopelessness in my existence? How do I balance that which is moving forward and that which I am called to leave behind? I am called to be present with the world as it is. I believe this is the symbol of my future.
This Sunday marks the first time I will create, preside and share in communion in the Christian church were I am serving. A little bread, a little wine and a table ... according to scripture, symbols used on the night before Jesus died. According to the accounts in the bible, he called them together, broke the bread, poured the wine and said, "holy crap, I am in trouble! Tomorrow is the day that I knew was coming but now it is here." He asked them, these people who were his friends, will you remember me? Will you take my message forward? Will you share it with the world? Or will I have died in vain?
My sister and her husband celebrated 50 years married today (Oct. 4). I was four, and the flower girl. It was the symbol of their love for each other and just what you did in 1963. It was the year Martin Luther King died. It was the year JFK was fatally shot. It was a year of things we remember. Many of you won't remember my sister's wedding but you sure remember JFK and MLK. They both are imprinted on your very soul. Both symbols of change and remarkable hard work. Both deaths symbols of a moment when the world stopped, a collective breath was taken, and a second in time when many wondered if they could go on. As Jesus was executed on that day so long ago, his friends must have felt that moment, that second in time where they wondered if they could go on. Some denied him out of fear, some walked out of the city in disbelief and some dropped to their knees at the foot of the cross screaming. It is through the symbols of a little bread and a little wine that we realize that life can go on as we remember the past.
But does this mean we cannot change or let go of what we have been indoctrinated with that does not fit with what is real and hopeful? Jesus died that I can say with certainty. But was he the product of a god that purposefully impregnated a woman, via the spirit, only to grow to be killed? For the vegans and vegetarians of the world that thought is as distasteful as birthing cattle just so we have beef on our tables. Housing chickens in cages and force feeding them to the point of their legs buckling so we have succulent breast meat. For this Christian vegan I cannot believe in a supernatural force that would be that calculating and bold. This reality is a symbol that I am thinking. This realization is a symbol that I am part of the world and not a pawn or a piece in a "God's" game of chess.
I have faith in a divine force that is part of a greater universe story. I have faith in the evolution of mystery where I can sense when all is right in my world and when I am not following a good path. I have faith that I am part of the Jesus story that he told so long ago. I reach for the Christian symbols of bread and wine and do so with a heart full of love for what I can accomplish with Jesus as my teacher, mentor and guide. I can use the scripture as witness to that story as is has been handed down by the great story tellers of the time. I can in my heart know I am Christian because people will know I am Christian by my love, by my love. As I find my life and suss it out in the mountains of British Columbia, there is a presence always of those symbols. Symbols that the divine in me is desperately reaching out to the divine in you.
Have a blessed day, raise your voice in justice and speak your own authentic truth.